The Crucible
by redplanetes
Summary: What happened during the three years after Goliathus met Ami? A fanfic of Soulchanging.
1. Chapter 1

This is a fanfic of a fanfic, Soulchanging by Ami Quinton. It is with her permission that I have used the characters to fill in the three years between when Ami meets Goliathus and the beginning of Chapter 3, some time shortly after the opening of The Facility. I just thought it was a fruit ready to be plucked - Goliathus' turbulent mind, still mostly a killer, struggling to trust in one human girl in the hope she could be right.

Legal Mumbo-Jumbo: I do not own Jeepers Creepers or any of the characters from it.

**The Crucible**

_Chapter 1_

Goliathus sat musing, alone in the dark. Ami had convinced him to release Toby from the cage, and had promised to return with food. As she led the staggering boy out of the cave, the heradus had the sudden urge to slay them both quickly, before they were out of his grasp, but he reluctantly fought it down. Now he sat in the dark, waiting... thinking.

Ami was different, there was no doubting it. Why, _how_, could she sympathize with one such as he? Certainly there was nothing about him a human could like or care about. Suspision began to creep into his mind. _She must have an ulterior motive. She's trying to weaken me, to set some trap_. He began to growl deeply as a sense of betrayal threatened.

_No. No, she is honest._

The fervor of her pledge to help him had almost shone from within her, and he could not deny it.

Nevertheless, by even allowing himself to be swayed by a human's sweet words, he felt himself in danger. It had happened before, he had believed, trusted, fallen. Anger at the impossibility of this situation made Goliathus cry out, and the echoes from the cavern's far reaches taunted his confusion.

In an attempt to untangle his mind from the knot of frustration, Goliathus turned to his worktable, and after lighting a few candles with one of his victim's Zippos, he began a new carving. He especially liked scapulae for non-functional art; they had a broad, smooth surface, and the possibilities for finer detail seemed to sing to him from the blank 'canvas'.

The shape of the shoulderblade suggested a wing to his eye, and grinning with pride, Goliathus began a winged figure. Clutched in one talon was a boy, pierced through the middle, eyes bulging and rolling in terror, mouth distended in a silent scream.

The heradus worked patiently, carving and etching tiny lines in the bone with a set of small instruments. The hours passed as he filled in the details, reminiscing with satisfied growls.

Suddenly the creative trance broke. Goliathus looked at his project with dismay, and thought about Ami. Shame, still an unfamiliar and unwelcome feeling, edged into his mind. Here he was taking pride in the pleasure of torture and pain, in killing and this endless vengence.

_But I _**do** _take pleasure in it. _

_I _**am** _a killer. _

_I _**deserv**e _vengence. How dare anyone try to take it from me. _

He gazed at the scene. _This is who and what I am._

Goliathus brought a fist down on the table in fury, scattering tools and sending the delicately etched shoulderblade flipping throught the air across the cavern.

At that moment a draft of air carrying a heady animal scent caught his full attention. No animal _ever_ wandered in here by accident. Then the unmistakeable odor of human joined the animal smell, and Goliathus understood. Ami had returned, and as promised had brought food.

A strange whirlwind of emotions swept over him - shame at having doubted her innocent intentions, petulance that he would now have to 'make do' with animal flesh, and hope; his friend - the word still amazed him! - had proved true.

On the heels of this inner conflict was that urge to have more to eat than Ami expected.

_Why not? After all, she has invited **herself**_ _to dinner._

The heradus chuckled evilly as Ami entered the room leading a sheep.

Ami caught sight of Goliathus and grinned. "Hungry? There's another two outside if this isn't enough."

She had spent the last few hours practically running non-stop. Ami had brought Toby to her house, making up a story about finding him injured from a hiking accident. Leaving her parents to take him to the hospital, she had run to a neighbor's farm, where she had tricky time arranging to buy the sheep in such a hurry. The woman had eyed her with suspision, but finally relented and took Ami to the sheep pen, where she put rope halters on three unattractive rams. As soon as she was out of sight, Ami led them off into the woods again.

"Hmph" Goliathus just stared. He didn't trust himself to move just yet. She really was trying to help, but what good could it come to? It was ingrained in his nature to attack humans. Still, she was so different, so _real_. She ..._cared_.

The heradus sighed. He _would _make the effort, even if there was no point. He realized that he was curious to find out what could happen.

Goliathus stood up from his stool and approached Ami. As he neared, the sheep turned it's head, finally catching sight of an unmistakeable predator. With a panicked "BA**AAAA**!", it broke loose and bolted blindly around the interior of the cave.

His hunting instinct needed no more cue. The heradus took to the air with a single wingstroke, and easily outmaneuvered the terrified animal. He landed with such force on top of the sheep that Ami could hear its spine snap.

_At least he's not toying with it_, Ami thought, turning her head from the bloody feast. The sounds were descriptive enough. Ami could hear legs being ripped out, bones crunched, organs and flesh swallowed. _I wonder if I can ever get used to it_.

Then with grim resolve, Ami realized she would simply _have_ to get used to it, and she forced herself to watch the heradus eat.

Amazingly, he had nearly reduced the animal to a pile of bones and sheepskin. Goliathus sat picking the last of the meat from the ribcage, and then sucked the blood from his clawed fingers.

"Was it ok?" Ami asked tenatively, then laughed at herself. Obviously it hadn't been _too_ unappetizing.

"Hmm. Greasy. Not much flavor. ...You say there are more?" He didn't look at her.

Ami laughed aloud.

"I'll go bring them in."

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Goliathus, are you listening?"

Ami was worried. He seemed awfully quiet, and she couldn't tell if he was angry or just moody.

"I am listening." he grumbled, but still he would not look at her. His gaze rested on the pile of bones and shredded sheepskin, the remains of his recent meal. The carcasses had been thoroughly picked clean, and Goliathus had used the pelt scraps to mop up puddles of blood before throwing the whole mess into a heap against the wall.

"Do you need more? I ...I can ...try to get you something, but it -"

"**No**. No, it was enough. For now."

Ami figure that was as close to a 'thank you' as she could hope for right now. Still, he seemed perturbed.

"Do you have any preferences? For what kind of food you want, I mean? You said the sheep were tasteless..."

"All animals are tasteless. There is little pleasure in eating them, save satisfying mere hunger." Goliathus frowned, and seemed to gring his teeth before he continued. "Large animals, and their organs are best. Hearts, lungs, ...vital organs. Deer or boar are good if they are not old."

"Er. Right. Um, I might not be able to get many of those -"

"Large animals. It doesn't matter." Goliathus' terseness was becoming plainer. "Very fresh. I cannot eat carrion."

"Goliathus. I'm just trying to help." Ami was silent for a moment. This was going to be a tough one. "Is there anything else you need from outside the cave?"

The heradus' gaze finally lifted to meet Ami's, but the look in those eyes was cold and unreadable.

It was a full minute before he answered. "No."

The unspoken understanding swept between them like a tide. Ami was asking him to stay in the cave, indefinitely, and Goliathus was consenting.

She spoke gently. "It's the only way, for now. I will try to make it worth your while, you know I will." Ami knew she was asking a lot of this creature of the sky, to abandon his hunt, his freedom. "And I will come visit you, too, so you won't be lonely."

Her childish innocence was almost too much to bear. "You should go now. I... I am well until tomorrow."

Goliathus knew he would not need to eat again so soon, but he _had_ to get this girl out of his cave. Something inside him felt she would not be safe if she stayed right now. He did his best to smile at Ami, but it came out as a sort of sickening leer.

"Well... ok. I guess I better go. Goliathus..." Ami stepped closer to him. "I want you to know I have enough faith in you for both of us."

Goliathus felt like he had been struck in the chest by a warm, soft brick. This was so unlike all previous experience, he could only stand agape, blinking and speechless.

Closing his mouth, he gave a small nod.

Ami beamed briefly like a flash of lightning, then turned and half-sprinted, half-skipped out of the cave.

The world seemed newly made and exploding with possibility. Ami ran through the woods, all fatigue forgotten, a huge smile wearing her face. She felt like an angel. She would help a fantastic but cruelly twisted creature end his cycle of vengence, free him from his inner pain so that the true soul beneath could shine through! This was a seemingly impossible task, but she would _make_ it happen! Her thoughts raced over the challenges ahead, and began to pin down possible solutions.

First of all, she'd have to bring him food, plenty to keep him satisfied. Instinct told her his hunger would be his greatest weakness. If he got hungry, she was sure he'd be tempted to leave the cave, and as he had said, humans were his food of choice. Ami shuddered inside. She _would_ make sure he had plenty to eat.

After watching him make such short work of the three sheep, though, she was a little apprehensive. Livestock wasn't cheap. Ami had spent almost her entire allowance stash on the mutton, and didn't even want to know how much a steer would cost.

Vital organs ...Goliathus had said he liked the organs best. An idea struck her, and she glowed as a possible way slowly came into focus. This could work!

Goliathus picked up the pile of sheepskin and bones, sucking his teeth in disgust. When he had finished with a human carcass there was usually some amusement to be had in the various remains, whether in carvings, tools, or in the preserved corpses. In this pile of refuse, there was only a rank, greasy smell, and a pervasive sense of indignation.

_Reduced to eating sheep by a girl_, Goliathus huffed. _And not even the satisfaction of interesting leftovers._

He couldn't stand to have useless garbage cluttering up his cave. _I'll just take it outside and bury it_. Striding purposefully towards the cave's labyrinthine entrance, he was struck by a thought.

_If I leave the cave, I will be breaking trust with Ami._

_To HELL with her!_ he snarled, then stopped.

_I did make a pact, though we spoke it not aloud. She has faith in me. I cannot fail her. She is the only hope._

_But hope for what? To be trapped here, fed on tasteless rubbish whenever she remembers, the pet and plaything of a lonely girl, until she tires of me, or dies of old age. And then what will all the effort be for?_

Goliathus was filled with a cold self-loathing. _I'm pathetic. Weak. The first human that makes puppy-eyes at me turns me into a fool. I might as well throw **myself** into a dungeon all over again. Here I go, torturing myself with abstinence. Favorite art supplies? Gone! No more flying, hunting, no more freedom! How could I have agreed to THIS!_

He paced out his fury, gnashing his teeth and digging his talons into the soggy sheepskins still in his grasp. A calm, quiet answer stopped him.

_For something better?_

_...is there?_

_...for..._me?

_No. There **can't** be anything better for me. She is mistaken. She is only human, and doesn't know what being cursed with eternal vengence means. She means well, but her ignorance won't save her._

Something tingled in Goliathus' head. It was a totally unknown sensation, and he stood motionless as it spread down through his body. He had a flash of something... Joy? A solution to a problem... Hope.

These sensations were not from within him! The girl had some connection to him that was beyond his understanding. She had shared a vision of his past, that was true. Hope was still beyond his grasp, but... what if...

The heradus shook his head, and took a deep breath. _Well, in any case, what **real** harm can it do to humor her for now?_ A tiny upward curl of his lip, and he looked down at the dripping, stinking bundle in his grasp. With no furthur hesitation, he strode over to a small trunk, and used one of his taloned feet to open it. Goliathus pulled out one of the plastic sheets stuffed inside, and proceeded to wrap the carcasses tightly. He tucked the ends in to make a snug package, and then brought it to the cave entrance, where he dropped it with a flourish of the wrist.

_Let her take out my garbage, too, when she brings her 'gifts'. We'll see who is **who's** pet._

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: If part of a scene in here looks suspiciously like one in my story The Other Half, it's because I **really** liked the part, and I feel free to plagarize from myself. Me, please don't sue me.

Chapter 3

Ami had never had such a crazy Monday in her life. First her worried parents had questioned her about the weekend's events, then later at school, the police and search officials repeated the interrogation. Her three ashen-faced friends all agreed - no one could tell about "the ...whatever it was", as Nix put it.

She was given permission to spend the rest of the day in the library, and used her time to collect as many articles, e-books, and reference notes as possible on trauma therapy. Much of the terminology was beyond her grasp, and Ami thanked her stars that she'd scheduled Psych this year. She knew she'd need as much training as she could get if she was going to help her amazing friend recover. Still, there were a few techniques in her gleanings that might prove useful as a start. Again and again throughout the day, the memory of Goliathus' shrieks and howls chilled her, and solidified the reality of her responsibility.

As she packed up, preparing to go meet her bus, Ami had the sensation of dripping, and hurried to the restrooms. A bright red stain greeted her sight when she pulled her pants down. _Great, it's that time of the month again._

The idea that had come to her yesterday was foremost in Ami's mind when she arrived home. She quickly cleaned up, left a note saying when she'd be home, and pulled her mountain bike onto the road. She lived in the borderland between town and country, but a mile down the road was a butcher shop that Ami had heard of. They sold to the public, as well as to various local institutions, including the schools and the county hospital. Most importantly, they raised and slaughtered their own beef. She was sure she could get it as Goliathus said, "very fresh". Ami also knew that organ meats were not popular as food these days, and were likely to go cheap.

Her requests at Mic's Meat Market were met with a raised eyebrow, but the butcher knew a sale was a sale. He told her the beef were slaughtered in the morning, usually three times a week, and though the hearts, livers, and kidneys were kept for sale, the other 'innards', as he put it, were just tossed.

"We used to send 'em to a dog food factory, but they didn't pay much, and eventually they stopped sendin' a truck."

Ami had enough money left to buy two bags full of hearts and livers from that morning's slaughter. She'd been right, the organ meats were pretty affordable, since they were considered unhealthy and less desirable. Her heart was filled with anticipation and a little anxiety - she hoped Goliathus could eat this stuff.

She made her way into the cave, holding tightly to the squishy plastic bags. Ami was excited to see if Goliathus would like what she had brought. If he didn't, well... she'd just have to figure something else out. Fast.

Stumbling into the cavern, she called out. There were a couple of candles guttering on a table, but it was too dark to see much. Ami bent down, setting the heavy bags on the ground, and stepped cautiously forward.

"Goliathus...? I'm back. ...Where are you?"

There was nothing but silence. Ami's eyes began to adjust to the dim light, and she peered around, hoping her friend was just being antisocial and quiet.

A low growl drifted around the cave. Ami froze. "Goliathus...?" she said in a tiny voice.

The growl turned into a soft, wheezy chuckle from above. Ami slowly looked up. Clinging to the low cavern ceiling directly overhead, Goliathus was staring at her. She gave a small cry of surprise, and then without warning, he dropped onto her, pinning her to the ground and completely winding her.

As she struggled to make her lungs work again, Goliathus inhaled deeply, then sniffed intently.

"Gol..Golia..thus, wha..."

"You smell good." It was almost an accusation.

Ami wrinkled her forehead. This was completely unexpected.

"Like food."

The rabid look in Goliathus' eyes told Ami that he didn't mean the bags she'd brought.

"Goliathus, please let me up. You're crushing me." Ami tried to keep her voice calm. "I brought you something different."

"_**You**_ smell different." Goliathus continued continued to sniff, trying to pin down the source of the maddening scent. He moved off her, but continued to hold her down with a steely claw. Finally, he reached her crotch, embarrassing Ami mortally.

"You're bleeding! What is this!" Again it came out as an accusation.

"I'll tell you, but you aren't being very, ...well, friendly!" Ami was sorry she'd said it as soon as it left her mouth. All he needed right now was petulance. "I'm sorry. Please let me up. I'll explain."

Goliathus narrowed his eyes, but after a moment moved aside and watched as Ami picked herself up.

"Thank you," she sighed as she straightened her shirt.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you come here wounded?" Goliathus was still looking at her like she was a rib-eye steak.

"I'm not wounded. I got my period today."

A blank look answered her.

"Don't you know women menstruate?" The blank look persisted. "It's part of our reproductive cycle." Goliathus just blinked. "I'm a girl, you know!"

"Such things don't concern me." Goliathus stood up and began pacing. "But you should not come here smelling like that! It's ...dangerous for you." He looked away, as if having said it was humiliating.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know..." Ami was disappointed and a little angry, her visit had been ruined. She recognized Goliathus' effort to protect her, though, as a gesture of friendship. She walked quietly to the entrance. "I'll go now, but first tell me if those," she indicated the dropped bags, "are alright for you."

The heradus looked at the bags as though they might contain something vile, but curiosity quickly overcame suspicion. He found the ziploc bag inside and tore it open with a clawed finger. Two beef hearts spilled out, to his instant surprise and glee. They disappeared down his throat before they could reach the ground.

"Good. Yes, good." Goliathus turned to look at Ami. There was a strange light in his eyes.

"You ...take care of me."

Ami felt tears pricking her eyes as she smiled. "Yes, always. I'd do anything for you." She shuffled her feet, unsure what she should do. "I had planned to stay a bit, but I don't want to upset you."

Goliathus continued to stare at her cryptically, and finally broke his gaze to look at the second bag.

"How long will you smell like that?" It was an indelicate question, but Ami knew he didn't mean it to sound so crude.

"A week, maybe less." Ami realized what he was getting at. How would she get food to him if she smelled too much like food herself to bring it safely here? "How often do you need to eat?"

"More often than that." Goliathus frowned and turned away. Her scent was too strong to ignore...

"Listen, I'll figure it out. Please, trust me, ok?"

"Yes."

Ami couldn't read the emotion behind that answer, but she had to get going. She could tell he was uncomfortable, and didn't want to aggravate him with an unbearable temptation.

"I'll be back when I smell, um, normal again."

Goliathus was ignoring her, so she ducked out and began the twisting climb out of the cave. _Of all the dumb things, why did my period have to throw a such a huge wrench into this?_

He stood still until the wounded-animal smell dissipated from the cave. It had tweaked his instincts so expertly that it alarmed him. He was shaken and angry, though she hadn't done it on purpose, it had seemed like an unfair test of his will.

Goliathus looked at the second bag, and without another thought, ripped it open. Two livers spilled out, and he stuffed them in his mouth in quick succession. _Ahh, not too bad. Pretty satisfying, in fact._

He had a moment of regret for his shortness with Ami. She really had listened to him when he told her he liked vital organs best. Who had ever done that? No one, ...except...

...Annabelle...?

_**No!** She's your tool, your game, no one could **really** want to be a friend to a horrible, cruel, ugly, ...thing._

Goliathus had become bored waiting for Ami's return, with little to do except play mumbletypeg with his homemade knives. He had sat slouched for hours on his stool, chin cradled in one hand, tossing the blades at the ground between his own taloned toes. He had a craving to smell fear, and had perched on the ceiling, hoping to surprise Ami enough to frighten her.

It was a harmless prank, he told himself. Only when she had walked in, he once again had seen her as a mewling, walking meal. Her smell had shocked him. She had smelled like fresh meat, dripping with blood.

The heradus roared at the top of his lungs. This was too much! _The gods are against me, to send me the lure of hope and then make it unbearable. I can't endure it..._ He groaned, but there was no one to comfort him.

Ami arrived home in a depressed mood. Her grand plan was already hitting brick walls. Her period, for gawd's sake! Why hadn't she forseen how the smell of her bleeding would affect him? Ami knew this pessimism would not help anything, but for some reason, she couldn't shake it. She just felt so hopeless, so _angry_...

Ami blinked hard. She had been daydreaming, almost in a trance. She didn't _really_ feel hopeless. Why had those emotions come over her? Ami had a sinking sensation as the answer slid into place - Goliathus was feeling those things. She had picked up on his thoughts and emotions before, and was sure this was the case now.

Well, this won't do. It must work both ways, so I'll just have to pick up my end. First, I gotta figure out the next week. Ami felt her spirits lifting as she pondered the challenge at hand, and hoped Goliathus would get some benefit on the other end. Now, if I can't walk down there, something else will have to, something ...on the hoof?

His head resting on his folded arms, Goliathus felt a hand gently touch his shoulder.

End of Chapter 3

Coming next chapter: Meals on Wheels...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The cavern walls were starting to close in. Images of a grinning winged creature danced in the flickering candlelight, and an armory of sinister handcrafted weaponry lay strewn about on tables and hardpacked ground. A worktable stood off to one side, bearing an assortment of half-finished projects; carvings, tools, and rough leatherwork.

The heradus was sitting against the wall, trying to hold himself together. He had been crouched motionless for hours, staring at the empty space before him. The weight of thought had become too much to bear, so he had closed himself off from consciousness as much as possible. Maddening, shocking images persisted in slipping through the barriers, and he intermittently jerked in reaction.

A rustling sound from far away reached his cowering mind. He slowly raised his head, blinking sluggishly. The quiet noises began to resolve in a recognizeable, meaningful rhythm. Goliathus reluctantly pulled himself back into the world.

As the bumping and scraping grew closer, he walked with heavy steps to the cave entrance. This had been the only break in his routine, once a day, for the past four days. After another minute, a strange cargo rolled into the cave. Trailing a rope up out of the cave was a large skateboard, laden with heavy, taped-up paper bags strapped securely on with bungee cords. Inside the bags, he knew, were plastic bags containing fresh beef and offal. His mouth watered as he unhooked the ties and ripped open the grocery bags, delving wholeheartedly into the goodies they offered.

For a full two minutes he sat savoring the hearts, livers, and lights. Hearts were his favorite, but the lungs were the most fun to eat - foamy, almost effervescent as they slid down his throat. The meal was over too soon, though he had drawn it out as long as he could bear. Sighing as he licked his claws clean, Goliathus turned his attention back to Ami's well-abused skateboard. She always left a note under the bags of food, sometimes just a short message that she was thinking about him, sometimes a suggestion to try this or that. It lifted his spirits slightly to know that she was trying to do more than merely keep him alive, but his resolve to hold to his self-imposed imprisonment was beginning to erode.

The longer he remained alone in this changeless cave, the more he daydreamed about the painful deaths he could be dealing, the fanciful tortures he was missing out on. A small part of him _knew_ it was horrible, was ashamed to succumb to such longings, but with little to take his mind off the dreariness of the passing days, they became his consolation during the long hours.

At times the rage had claimed him, and he had thrashed and flailed about his cave, shrieking and destroying everything unlucky enough to be in his path. Other times he would helplessly pound his head as visions of his own past torture played out over and over, as if to remind him, "To _this_ you must always return. From _this_ there is no escape."

One of Ami's notes had asked him to try meditating on a calm, pleasant moment, while clearing his mind of anything else. He tried, oh he tried many times to do this, but soon the terrifying, hateful scenes came crashing back, and he would sink into a stupor of numbness to shield himself.

Today there was more than just a note. A large, flat box was duct-taped to the beat-up skateboard. Goliathus tilted his head and bent forward to study this package; he untaped the box and carefully pried up one corner, sniffing. _Paint!_ He flipped the lid off and eyed the jumble within. A dozen huge tubes of acrylic paint, a dozen brushes ranging in size from miniscule to enormous, several mediums for acheiving different effects, pallet knives, sponges, mixing trays - it was an assortment gleaned to please any artist's desire.

Goliathus noticed a handwritten note taped to the inside of the box's lid. "Whatever is in your mind, paint it, let it out, and you can begin to understand it better. - Ami"

He replaced the lid and pulled the box off the skateboard, then gave the rope two hard yanks, picturing the girl above, pulled off balance and falling awkwardly to the leaf-strewn ground. He sniggered in mischievous glee, even while feeling a tiny pang of regret for mistreating his friend. The board retreated up the entrance passageway, bouncing slowly out of sight.

The paints seemed like an interesting idea, but he didn't feel like playing with them just now. A black cloud was seeping over him again, as the silence of another day loomed. Goliathus sat at a bench and toyed with a broken blade. _I am a prisoner in a dungeon with no bars. Why should I stay here, miserable, patronized? She is trying so hard but it's SO PATHETIC! I should kill her and be done with it. _

_Kill her._

_She's one of **them**. They're all evil, no matter what a sweet face they wear and pretty stories they might tell. Kill her before it happens again..._

The torture chamber crashed into his mind again ...the flames ...the agony.

Goliathus clutched his head, breathing hard. He stumbled blindly to a far corner of the cavern, where the walls converged to form a narrow, slanting alcove. A steady trickle of water flowed down the back of the alcove, and the heradus sat heavily under it, leaning back so that it washed over his head, his deeply lined face, ran in rivulets over his shoulders.

Slowly a sense of calm returned. The horrific memories faded, taking with them the agonizing hatred, the burning, unquenchable thirst for vengence. He wallowed in confusion. Part of him wanted that agony, wanted to remember every hideous moment of his suffering, to feed the anger. After all, without the fury, what point was there in living at all? To continue into eternity, weak, unsatisfied, ...**forgiving**? Ami thought otherwise.

_What could she possibly know that I don't?_ He snorted indignantly. _She is very young, true, and just a human, but she **is** wise. She thinks of things that would never have occured to me. She has so much hope, I can almost..._

He continued to sit in the spring's flow for hours, just listening to himself breathe. It was another of Ami's suggestions, to empty his mind, refuse any intruding thought or emotion as though it were an unwelcome visitor. After a time, he rose and opened the box of art supplies. New possibilities and ideas flashed like meteors across his mind. He grabbed a handful of brushes and a few tubes of paint, strode to a blank section of wall, and began painting.

Four days later, Ami, made her way once again down to her friend's cave, carrying his dinner in person. She had missed him terribly, and was anxious to know if he was alright. The only signal she'd ever gotten was the daily tug on the rope to say he was finished eating. _What if he's been going cabin-crazy?_

"Goliathus? I'm coming in!" she called out. A few seconds later, a grumbled, "Fine." answered. She grinned. _He must be ok._ "Are you hungry?" _What a stupid question_, she cringed at herself. "I brought extra hearts."

"Still beating?" Goliathus had his back to her, working on some new project on a far wall. His sarcasm was only slightly bitter, still, Ami knew he was accusing her. **_You_** did this to me. **_You_** are making my life miserable.

"You said they were good a week ago, have you changed your mind?" She tried to keep her tone friendly. He needed compassion, not arguments. The heradus sighed. "No, they are fine." He continued working in silence, still not paying her any mind. She set the bags on a table, noticing with unease that the room had been violently disarranged, apparently in fit of rage. A few items were broken; a section of wall had been attacked with an axe, now lying shattered amid the rubble on the floor.

She pulled her attention back to the present. Goliathus was working on a huge painting, at least ten feet wide, directly on the cave wall. Her heart leapt quietly when she noticed he was using the supplies she had sent down. _They were the right thing! I had a feeling..._ Ami finally saw what the painting was.

A huge monster was depicted, or a cluster of monsters, it was hard to tell. It had more than one head, some misshapen, some animallike, others just nightmarish. There were legs and deformed limbs sticking out at seemingly random angles from a twisted, grotesque body. The monster appeared to be experiencing a variety of different emotions; one head was screaming open-jawed, eyes rolling in agony; another was pure brooding malice; another was stuffing an entire human figure into its horse-like mouth.

Beneath the monster were countless people, crying in terror, stampeding each other in their hopeless struggle to get away. Some were being crushed by the monster's fists and feet, many were nothing but headless corpses. Ami noticed a recurring theme; every person's face wore an expression of hatred and loathing under the horrified panic. _Wow, he's really laying out his psyche here_.

"Looks like Hieronymous Bosch," Ami ventured. The heradus snorted, was silent again. After a minute he spoke. "You said to paint whatever was in my head. Are you not angry to see this?" She could hear in his voice that though he halfway wanted her approval, the other half would only be satisfied if she were shocked and sickened.

"Well no. It's weird and frightening, but it looks like you're making some progress. You're paying attention to how you feel.

Goliathus turned and stared at her. "And how will it help me to know that I feel such things? That I feel rage, that the need for revenge boils in my veins? That I hate and fear humans as much as they hate and fear ME?" He clenched his fists so tightly that the paintbrush snapped in two, and a couple of tubes of paint in his grasp burst.

"Because _knowing_ what you feel puts you on the path to being _in control_ of what you feel, instead of it controlling you." The heradus seemed dangerously tense, and she hoped to defuse it before he went into another destructive rage. "Did you feel better while you were painting this?"

He scowled for a moment, then answered reluctantly. "Yes. I don't know why. It felt ...good, to put it up where I could see it." Ami smiled, this was exactly what she'd hoped for. "Sometimes there is ...something inside, that is hidden, and causes pain. You have to get it out where you can see it, and then you can understand it, and figure out how to deal with it." She furrowed her eyebrows. "Does that make sense?"

"Hmpf." Goliathus blinked, scowled, but then nodded. A tiny door had opened deep in his mind.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"I'm so glad you called, Toby! So did they let you out of the hospital?" Ami stood by the phone, smily broadly. The boy she had met in Goliathus' cave was on the other end. "Yeah, this morning. Just kept me there 'cause they were freaked out, but I'm fine." The boy hesitated. "I wanted to tell you... thanks, for getting me out of there." His voice trembled. "I thought I was gonna die. That thing..." Ami sighed, said quietly, "Yeah, it was really... listen, I-" Toby interrupted her, speaking quietly, quickly. "You talked it out of killing us, didn't you? I was kind of out of it for a while, but I **_heard_** you. Both of you."

Ami was silent for a moment. If I can tell one person, it would be Toby. _Maybe he will understand_. "I've been going back there." She heard him gasp. "That creature, his name is Goliathus, and he's in a lot of pain, and I think that's why he kills people. I'm ...helping him. I think I can help him stop." There was no sound from the other end. "Toby...?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Wow. You're... really brave." He laughed nervously. "I mean, I knew that already, but I think if I saw that... Goliesis again, I'd have a heart attack."

She laughed. "He's not always so scary. And it's Golia-_thus_."

The cavern was pitch dark as Ami fumbled down into it. Ususally there were candles lit, but this time there was nothing. "Hello? -Goliathus...? ...hello? She heard a rustling. _He **is** in here!_ She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could speak a word, her legs were yanked out from under her. She landed hard on the bags of offal in her arms. "ooOF!" A cruel clawed hand closed on the back of her neck, holding her down.

"Human. Stupid, nosy human." The chilling tonelessness of the words bit through the air. "Bad luck. Now you die."

"Goliathus! It's me! Ami!" she yelled out, squirming. "I'm your friend, remember?"

"No human is my friend. Humans are evil. Humans are my enemy. Every single one. You."

"No!" She struggled to keep her fear down and stay rational. "Hatred is your enemy! Revenge is your enemy! Not me! Remember? ...Goliathus?"

Ever so slowly the claw loosened, released its iron grip. There was no sound. Ami got up, fumbled to a table and felt around for a candle, a lighter. A tiny flame pushed the thick darkness back. The heradus sat hunched on the floor, curled up tightly. She saw that he was breathing heavily.

"Are you ok?" she asked tremulously. "What happened?" He didn't answer for a long time. Finally his voice emeged from the huddled figure. "I... I was sleeping." Ami wondered if she'd heard him correctly. "Then you... I didn't realize... I thought it was my time to hunt again." He sounded angry.

"It's ok. But... you were sleeping? For real?"

"Yes."

"That means you won't be hibernating now, doesn't it? This is a good thing!"

Goliathus lifted his head. "Good?" He felt like kicking himself. _She tosses out tidbits of hope, like treats to a dog, and I sit up and beg for them._

"Sleep will help your mind, give it a break so it can work things out." She walked closer, sat on her heels next to him. "I just have a feeling this is a very good sign. Now... are you ready for breakfast?" She pulled the bag over.

He sniffed briefly, grabbed the bag and tore into it. She sighed to herself. _I guess not eating **me** is as good manners as I can hope for_. The meal was consumed in less than a minute, and Goliathus sat licking the insides of the ziploc bags clean. The next thing he said surprised her immensely.

"I'm glad you come." He seemed embarrassed then, and got up, walked away. As he lit more candles, Ami pondered. _He seems more open and... sort of cheerful when he's eaten. Or at least, less angry_.

"So... what have you been working on?" She hoped turning the subject to art would make him open up to her some more. He turned his head to her, then chuckled. "Hehh hehh, a new sculpture." He seemed very amused with himself. "Come see." He gestured Ami over to a far table. Something large and white stood on it. "Oh, my gawd..." She stood gaping, trying hard not to laugh. It was... well, it used to be a couple of ugly old sheep.

Goliathus had stitched the skins of one back together, and had sewn an extra head onto the rump. At least seven legs sprouted from beneath its bizarre body. Wings made from long thin bones spread out from the greasy wool on its back. The wings were mockingly delicate, the bones poised to brush through the air gracefully.

"Well, that's... original!" Ami didn't want to offend Goliathus. This was obviously meant to be a joke, but then again... he was very touchy.

"I didn't think I would enjoy working with the animal carcass, but it was... not unsatisfying. I like new materials. They are ...interesting." She could see he was perplexed by these feelings. "I'll bring you more new things to try then. It's good for you to use your amazing mind, and put your talents to use, I think."

"If you say so." He stalked away. Goliathus was being hardheaded again. Sometimes just when she thought he was in a good mood, he suddendly got angry again. _Well, it's going to take time_. The heradus kicked a bench over. _A long time._

End of Chapter 5

* * *

A/N: This chapter was pretty short and light, and the next one is really long and dark, so I went ahead and posted this now. I'm a few chapters ahead in writing, but won't be posting Ch. 6 for a couple more days. 

Ami, the writer of the story Soulchanging, which this is based on, brought something to my attention that I hadn't thought of: the explaination for the title. My apologies to Arthur Miller, this has nothing to do with his play about the Salem witch trials. A crucible is a clay bowl for refining metal and ore at extreme temperatures; it is also a term for a term for a test of the most decisive kind; a severe trial; as, 'the crucible of affliction'. (Thanks, dictionary) Also, since he's staying in an 'earthen bowl', the cave, it's a physical crucible in a way. Goliathus is undergoing a difficult refining period in his cave; unbeknownst to him, he is being purified from the demon. So, there you have it.


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: This chapter contains a gruesome scene, not recommended for the weak-stomached.

Chapter 6

Ami bent over her books, trying to keep her eyes open, struggling to concentrate. She was determined to have a new therapy plan for Goliathus drawn up by the weekend, but he did not in the slightest resemble any of the example cases in the books. She was having to invent a lot on her own, just relying on instinct and imagination. The heradus had been in its cave, under her care, for two months now, and she felt that there were small signs of progress, but still... She had to deal daily with his anger, mood swings, and occasional outbursts of violence.

_What is this, a clever way to drive me insane?_ The heradus growled, his eyes roving over the paintings, carvings, and unfinished projects piling up in his cavern. A tiny flock of mutant sheep flew in frozen formation overhead, hung from wires. _No, I have been insane for longer than I can remember. That's the truth. She is helping me become sane again. ...I just don't understand any of it._

For a moment he wished Ami was here right now. He always felt stronger when she was around._ No. **Weaker**. I feel weakened, unable to be what I truly am any longer. She's a bad influence... She manipulates, like humans do. She toys with me, squeezes my mind - "Does it hurt here, how about here?" She will destroy me slowly, until I am useless. Already I am obedient to her whim. "Do not go out. Do not eat people. Do not kill..."_

_**Kill**. _He tried to turn his attention to a carving he'd lain aside. It depicted a torture he once inflicted, pulling off a man's fingers one at a time. He reminisced on the loud POPs of joints separating. _But it was ...wrong. NO IT WAS GOOD. GOOD TO HURT. _That's what he'd thought then. But now... _Still want to kill. NEED to kill. Need..._

_She doesn't need to know. I need to. I have to. I WANT to._ Goliathus paced frantically around the room. He felt the pull like a fishhook lodged in his spine, in his base instincts. No matter how he tried to turn his thoughts elsewhere, the desire to go out, to hunt, jerked him back. _I've been stuck in here for so long, and I will die if I can't satisfy this need._

He didn't even remember leaving the cave. _Ahhh, the night! Why did I wait so long?_ Goliathus felt separated from himself; part of him watched from a distance as his killer nature resumed its familiar place. A sense of urgency, excitement, fury unleashed washed over him. The heradus leapt into the air, began casting his senses out for prey.

It wasn't long before a movement of light caught his attention; a truck weaving at a reckless speed down a dirt road, kicking up a huge plume of dust and exhaust. _Humans. So smug, they don't even try to be discreet. It's just too easy._ He followed the vehicle for a few miles, awaiting an opportunity. The scent of young males drifted along in the wake, teasing him, luring him. They were drunk, giddy on cheap whiskey and freedom, buddies for whom the world would bow, cheer, and stand aside. Goliathus wanted, so badly that his teeth hurt, to destroy that arrogance and adolescent illusion of power.

The truck slowed and turned onto a narrow track, stopping at a chained gate in the barbed-wire fence. After a moment the passenger door flew open and a stocky teenager stumbled out, righted himself, and felt around in the truck bed. He came up with a pair of bolt cutters and strutted unsteadily to the gate, glancing back at his friends with a mischievous smirk. The padlock was sheared without effort, and the boy yanked the chain away, walking the gate open for the truck to pass.

Goliathus circled, watching with predatory curiosity as the truck skidded and fishtailed around the pasture. The driver had abandoned all pretense of safety and was tearing up the yellow grass, throwing huge clods of half-frozen mud into the air as he carved donuts and wobbly figure-eights across the pasture. The truck's momentum was brought to an abrupt halt when it hit a shallow irrigation ditch, grounding it nose-first into the trench. The heradus smiled cruelly; this was what he had been waiting for.

A door burst open, a figure half rolled, half staggered out, swearing colorfully even while laughing at the top of his lungs. His friends dribbled out after, one of them holding a hand to his bleeding forehead. Goliathus couldn't wait any longer; he swooped down and grabbed up the injured boy before the others even finished turning. Once high in the air, he held the gasping boy before him, and looking him in the eye, tore his head off. The heradus hissed with satisfaction, and tossed the body back down to his companions.

Moments later the refreshing sound of panicked screaming began. He waited until one of the figures, the driver, turned and ran blindly across the field. Goliathus took aim, and lobbed the dripping head at the stumbling boy. A delicate thonk sounded as it hit him squarely on the back of the skull, and the boy faceplanted in the stubbly grass. He dove down, grabbed the unconscious teenager by the ankles, and with a roar threw the body into the air. It came crashing down on the edge of the truckbed with a satisfying crunch.

The heradus heard a sound from the truck and instinctively turned to meet the third boy. As he raced to the truck's open door, he saw in a split-second the boy finish pulling free a shotgun from the gun rack. In a blind panic the kid pulled the trigger; the blast hit Goliathus in an outstretched hand, pulverizing several fingers.

Anger and shock surged through him. He reached out his other hand, knocking the shotgun away, and raked his claws visciously down the boy's neck and chest. The boy died gurgling and sputtering in his own blood, while Goliathus stood back, breathing heavily, eyes wide with an insane gleam.

He slowly regained his composure, folded to his knees on the hard ground.

Betrayed. Wrong. Good. Kill. Ami. Hate. Trust.

_What am I doing?_

He realized where he was, what he had just done. _Ah, gods, no_. Goliathus looked around at the small apocalypse he had just wreaked. _Ami - she will hate me if she finds out._ _Well, I didn't eat them, so it's not too late._

The next two hours were spent dragging the corpses deep into the woods, where he used one hand to dig a shallow grave. _Just eat a hand, that's all I have to do and she'll never know. _

_**No! **I can't... I promised... _

_Promised not to leave the cave, not to kill, too, but it's too late now, just let go and be yourself. _

_But... I could be more than **that**._

Before dawn Goliathus dragged the truck out of the ditch, drove it across the pasture to a pond, and pushed it into the murky water. He stood watching as the vehicle sank slowly into the mud and algae, finally disappearing. He smoothed over the tracks, hiding all traces of the truck's passage back to the pasture. As he looked back over the empty scene of devastation, the pain of his mangled hand began to burn mercilessly. With a huge sigh of resignation and resentment, he turned and dove into the air again.

The cave came into view just as the sun cast its first rays across the land. Goliathus trudged down, heart heavy. _Home, bitter home_.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ami awoke sweating and shaking. Horrible nightmares had plagued her sleep, and as the night wore on they became darker, bleaker. She blinked hard, tried to focus on the glowing numbers of her alarm clock. 6:15. _Well, almost time to get up anyway_. A nagging misgiving remained as she rose and prepared for her day, clinging to her mind like a cold, slimy scum.

That afternoon she hurried from the butcher's to the cave. It was cold out, and this little trek seemed to be getting longer each time, now that it got dark so early. A roaring fire and yummy smells weren't waiting for her at the cave, but her amazing friend was there, and that was even better. Even though he was difficult and sometimes mean, he was just so ...incredible. Her flashlight found the dark maw of the cave, and she stooped, began climbing down to the cavern.

"Goliathus, it's me." Ami walked slowly into the large space, so as not to startle her friend. Sleep was new to him, and sometimes he awoke disoriented. Not today though, he was sitting on a stool with his back to her. She smiled and approached. "Hey, I brought extra today. They slaughtered this morning and I know you like it fresh so..." Something was wrong. As she neared, Goliathus didn't move, didn't acknowledge her at all. This was not unusual, he ignored her much of the time. Ami had realized long ago that it was a sign that he was practicing self-control. But today, he wasn't working on any project, he was just sitting there, tense, hunched, as though trying to hide.

"What's wrong, Goliathus?" she asked very softly. She wondered if he'd been having nightmares like she'd had. That would be enough to scare the pants off anyone, especially if they weren't used to dreaming. The heradus moved slightly. She knew he'd heard her. Why wasn't he talking to her?

"Please,talk to me. Tell me what's going on." Ami saw his shoulder twitch as she spoke. Moving around to stand beside him, she saw that he had his left hand tucked under his right arm. He lifted his head to look at her. She was shocked by what she saw there. The normally cruel face was awash in emotion. Fear dominated, to her surprise. Anger, but not the same as she usually saw; it was an anger against the injustice of the universe. Guilt, ...remorse? Something had happened. Something ...awful.

"It's ok. I'm your friend. That means you can talk to me." She reached out a hand, laid it gently on his muscled forearm. Goliathus jerked away, turned his back to her again. "Stay away from me." She'd heard that enough times, but this time there was an undercurrent of pleading. "No," she said firmly. "You are my friend, no matter what."

In answer, the heradus slowly withdrew his left hand, held it out in front of him at arm's length so she could see. There wasn't much left of it. The little finger and half a thumb were there, but all the other fingers and some of the hand were torn away.

Ami suddenly had a flash from her nightmare; a gun blast, a hand exploding. Ice ran down her spine. It hadn't been just a dream... Other fragments of the dream surfaced - screams, blood, limbs torn, bones crushed... it was awful. She shuddered, felt nauseated for a moment. Then the urgency of the present forced her to take a breath.

"Oh, Goliathus." She put her hand firmly back on his arm. "No matter what."

They remained that way for several minutes, and Ami felt her friend relaxing ever so slightly. Finally he spoke. "You don't hate me now?" She heard the terror in that question. _So that's what he's so afraid of_.

"No. I don't hate you. And I'm not going to give up on you." She sighed and put her arms around his shoulders. He usually disliked being touched, but it was the only way she knew to show that she meant what she said.

Goliathus' mind was roiling. He had been certain that Ami would be so angry, so disappointed, so horrified, that she's abandon him and never return. His hate-filled existence would swallow him up again, forever. The worst feeling was that a part of him hoped this **_would_** happen, so he could get on with his life as usual, and cast off the facade of 'friendship' and 'mercy'. He had felt like he was dying for hours, all the hope and hard work was draining away like sand through his fingers.

Now, the impossible was happening! Ami wasn't furious, she wasn't leaving, she still had hope! As she embraced his shoulders, a sensation as of warm sunlight falling on a barren, frozen wasteland began to spread through him. The possibility of new life... He clung to that hope desperately. When she spoke again, her words touched the heart he hadn't known was there.

"Your hand... is there anything I can do?"

When he found his voice again, he answered more softly than he'd ever spoken to her before. "No. It hurts me, but... not... I do not suffer as ...humans do." His voice broke in shame and anger. "How can you care... so much, after I have betrayed you, after what I have... done..." She interrupted him. "I know. I saw. I, uh, ...I dreamed it." She sighed. "But you're my friend. That won't change."

Ami was silent for a moment, then spoke very gently. "I need you to tell me exactly what happened. The fact that you're here, and so upset about it, says you didn't just change your mind about the whole not killing thing. So... please, tell me."

The heradus took a deep breath, told her about the urge to kill that had become overwhelming. "I could have tried harder, but I was weak, I didn't **_want_** to resist-" "Stop, Goliathus." Ami stared him in the eye. "You have to stop beating yourself up. It was a mistake, and we have to learn from it. Now... umm... did you - did you eat...?"

"No. I realized what I was doing after I killed them. I thought about you, and I stopped. I knew I had betrayed you." He sighed heavily. "I covered up the evidence, buried everything. I tried to erase it ...but, I knew you would see, you would know..." He held up his destroyed hand.

"It was brave of you to stop when you did, and come back here to face me." He looked up at her in surprise. "Brave? But..."

"No, I mean it. Have you ever done that before? Just realized it was wrong, and not gone any further? And you could have hidden it from me somehow, **_but you didn't_**. That tells me you have some faith in me, in **_us_**."

Goliathus stared at her for a long time, finally spoke. "I hadn't thought it could really come to any good. But you are right, I see it now. A few weeks ago I would not have hesitated to devour them and return to my..." he frowned, "...habits." He fell silent, mulled over these thoughts.

"You do make me stronger. My will is more ...my own, and less swayed by - hatred," he clenched his fist, "when you are here." He turned suddenly to face her. He was closer than he'd been since they first met, and he'd tried to terrify her to no avail. The intensity of his stare was almost frightening now, but for a reason Ami couldn't pin down.

"Stay here." It was a command, almost so self-assured that he didn't expect an answer, just compliance. Ami knew this was of vital importance, but had no idea what to do or say. "You **_must_** stay, and I will be strong then." He took her silence as acceptance. "I became weak, that was why I let the anger take me. It cannot happen again." The heradus gripped her upper arm in his good hand. "It will be good to have you here. Almost as good as flying..." He continued to gaze at her, unblinking.

"Wait, Goliathus... I, ...I..." Ami tried to find words that wouldn't hurt his feelings or upset him. "I'm only fourteen. I can't stay here all the time. I really wish I could," she hurried to say. "But it's just not realistic. We'll have to find some other -" The grip on her arm became painful, and she inhaled sharply, then spoke in a small voice. "Please, please let go, you're hurting me..."

Goliathus didn't loosen his grip. A low growl began deep in his chest. "You toy with me. You **_want_** to help. You **_don't_** want to help."

"Listen to me, please! If I stayed here, people would send out search parties, and my family would never let up! They would worry day and night, and wouldn't rest until they found me. And if they found me, they'd find _**you**_." The grip loosened a fraction. "How would I get food to you? Goliathus, I'm still a child in the world's eyes." She lowered her head. "I'd stay here with you if it was my choice. But it's not." Tears ran slowly down her face. She felt like she was being cruel, yanking hope out from under her wounded friend, but the truth was the only thing she could rely on.

The heradus still held her tightly, but the look in his eyes was now uncertain. "I don't know what to believe," he grumbled, almost to himself.

"Believe **_me_**." she said, raising her eyes to meet his. The courage and strength in her little body crackled like electricity. "I will do everything I can to help you. You're right, I need to be here more, so I'll figure out a way. It won't be all the time, I still have to go to school, but I can come more than I have been, ...if you want."

His mouth almost hung open. This girl constantly surpised him with her unwavering warmth. He felt a little more of the black ice around his heart melt away as her strength and compassion washed over him. He wanted so badly to keep her here, then maybe he'd never hurt again... But no, she knew it would be a catastrophe, and some tiny voice within urged him to trust her judgement. Goliathus released her arm, patted and smoothed it, even as he scowled.

"I want you to help me." He sighed deeply. "I don't want to be **_that_**," he glanced at the many-headed horror on the wall, "anymore."

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

The golden morning light streaked across the fresh snow, bare tree trunks casting indigo shadows. Ami followed the softened trough of her path from the previous afternoon; she was trying to run, but the snow slowed her down. The news she had was just too exciting to hold in a second longer.

She reached the cave and half slid, half jumped down the entryway. The air warmed slightly further in, and by the time she got to the cavern it was merely chilly. Goliathus didn't seem to mind the cold; he had only ever worn clothing to hide his true form from humans. Ami walked in, stomping snow from her boots, breathing hard from the hike and excitement. "Hey, I'm here!"

Goliathus was at a table, working on another bone sculpture; he turned his head briefly in her direction, then went back to his project. Ami translated in her mind, _that was a "Hi, how are you? I'm fine."_ He had been more open and even sort of friendly sometimes in the last couple of months, but friendly for him still meant just not yelling or throwing things at her.

When the heradus was in a foul mood he sometimes threatened her, or described in detail the horrible ways he had killed particular people, speaking as though he was both disgusted and proud. Other times he would insult her and try to make her angry. It took a lot of self-control, but Ami had recognized what he was doing early on, and she didn't fall for it anymore, or take it personally.

When he was in a rare good mood, he showed her his projects, described everything about them, told her his thoughts and dreams, which Ami found fascinating. She'd been spending most evening and weekends with him, except for the time once a month when she either had to send food on the skateboard, or slap a sheep on the butt to get it running down to the cavern.

There hadn't been anymore 'incidents', but the worry of it kept her awake at night sometimes. Goliathus had little control over his emotions, and if she wasn't there when he was feeling particularly vengeful, ...it could happen again. Ami had racked her brains trying to figure out some way to deal with the problem, and had finally come to the conclusion that she needed help. It was risky, but psychotherapists were good at keeping things confidential.

Ami had known for months that a friend's mother had done some legal consulting for a small research organization that specialized in behavioral therapy. An idea had formed over time, and last night, she finally got to speak with one of the group's directors. The conversation had gone well; most adults, especially ones with a string of letters behind their names, tended to talk down to fifteen year-olds, but this man had listened attentively. He seemed to be both impressed by her serious interest in psychology, and intrigued by her description of a case she hoped they would help with.

Ami was deliberately vague about the details, no way would she tell them that Goliathus was an immortal flying creature who could regrow body parts, and who used to eat people. The man would have hung up right away. Ami just told him she had been trying to help someone with serious psychological trauma who lived in a cave, and that it was a very unique situation.

After listening carefully and asking a great deal of questions, the man had agreed to consider the case for a research study. He had told her that one of their psychologists would need to meet with her friend to assess the case. Ami agreed, as long as it was a woman who came. "He won't tolerate a man at all, that would be disastrous."

Today, Ami was going to tell Goliathus about her new plan. "What are you working on? Can I see?" Ami stood back and waited to see what kind of mood her friend was in this morning. She tried not to invade his personal space, it made him nervous at best, and he could lash out when he was grouchy. Today, luckily, he seemed to be pretty calm.

"Come see. You might like it." The heradus rarely sounded enthusiastic, but the absence of spite in his voice was encouraging. Ami approached to stand beside him, and studied the new sculpture.

As soon as she saw what it was, she gasped. It was the beginnings of a dragon, similar to the one she'd admired the first time she came here. The basic shape of the body was wired up in sinuous, flowing curves, and the beautiful wings spread out on either side. Goliathus had disassembled a couple of his mutant sheep to make this new sculpture, and he seemed completely engrossed by it.

"Oh Goliathus, ...it's _**wonderful!**"_

He didn't reply for a minute, just kept working. "I knew you enjoyed the dragon on the wall. The other things I have made here are satisfying, but... they are also... angry. You said to concentrate on good feelings too, so this... it's... " He frowned, seemed to struggle to define the emotion.

Ami smiled. "It's ok, I understand what it is. It's strength, and beauty, and freedom..." She bit her lip, hoping that hadn't been the wrong thing to bring up, but Goliathus just nodded, said, "...Yes."

She turned to face him, took a deep breath. "Listen, I have something important to tell you." He continued working. "I told you I'd do everything I could to help you, and I don't think I can do enough all by myself." The heradus became very still. "There are some people who might be able to help you in ways I can't, and they want to send someone here to -"

Goliathus had turned his head slowly to look at her. The terror and fury in his eyes was frightening.

"Only if you say it's ok, Goliathus!" she said quickly. "I would never bring a stranger down here if you didn't want me to."

He blinked once slowly, but continued to stare; she hoped that meant he was willing to hear more. "If you agree, I can bring a woman who is educated in helping people... like you. She'll just want to talk with you a little..."

Goliathus looked back at his table, didn't speak for a few minutes. Finally he took a long, deep breath. "If you must." It came out almost as a growl. Ami was not exactly sure how he felt about this; if he was angry with her it wouldn't help to just barge on ahead, but sometimes his small victories were heavily clothed in reluctance, a force of habit.

"I'm just trying to do everything I can." Ami sighed. "I'll schedule it for a week from now. If you decide you don't want me to bring her here, just tell me and I'll cancel it, ok?" The heradus grunted.

That evening, Goliathus tried to continue his sculpture, but his heart wasn't in it anymore. The nagging thought of a stranger coming ate at him. _One will come, then maybe more, and after that... what? _They wanted to study him, to ...experiment? His uneasiness had lain like a sleeping lion all day, but now Ami had gone home, it had awoken and was threatening to start big trouble.

He wondered why he had accepted in the first place, and realized it was because he'd sensed Ami's excitement in her new plan. Even though he never told her, it made him feel strangely ...good... when she was happy or hopeful about something. The same way he felt stronger when she was nearby.

This line of thought distracted him from the worry of a visitor, and he put his chin in his hand, mulling it over. He's noticed how she seemed to read his thoughts once in a while. She also had dreams that were his own experiences and memories. It was inexplicable. _If Ami is open to my mind, maybe I can be open to hers as well. I will have to pay closer attention when she is here..._

_End of Chapter 8_


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

Voices echoed down into the cavern from the dark entryway. Goliathus' head snapped up in alarm, then he picked out Ami's voice, remembered this was the day the 'visitor' was coming. Still, his disquiet kept increasing instead of settling down. A stranger. A human _(evil human) _who was coming to study _(torment) _and talk _(torture)._ The heradus struggled to reel these thoughts in and steady himself. Ami would never put him in danger, she understood, she had seen. _I **have** to trust her..._

Ami walked slowly into the cavern, alone. She spotted Goliathus where he was hunched against the wall, arms wrapped around his knees. "I brought the lady. She's in the passage, I told her to wait there until you're ready to meet her." She approached, squatted near him. "Are you up to this?"

**_NO!_** His mind shouted, but he clenched his jaws, breathed deeply, muttered, "I trust you," hoping that saying it would make it more true. He also wanted a little warning to be heard in his words - _if anything bad comes of this, I will hold **you** accountable._

Ami smiled. "You don't know how much I love to hear you say that." He was confused for a moment; he didn't considere how Ami felt about his own feelings much. But she was speaking again.

"I've told her that you are... very unusual, but I couldn't tell her **_how_** unusual, so she's going to be a bit... surprised. Well ok, she'll be scared. It might take a while for her to get used to you, and I want you to stay calm. If you stay as calm and relaxed as possible, this will work, and she'll understand what an amazing person you are. ...Ok?" Goliathus just nodded.

She stood and walked back to the tunnel. He watched her return leading a white-haired woman wearing a tweed suit, holding a leather satchel. The woman gazed around the cavern, wearing an interested but carefully unemotional expression. She let her eyes roam over the various paintings and bizarre sculptures around the room. Ami led her over towards Goliathus; the woman still hadn't noticed him.

"Dr. Leyden, I'd like you to meet my friend, Goliathus." Ami gestured at him, and the woman finally saw the heradus. She stopped in mid-step, as though she'd suddenly forgotten how to walk. Her mouth fell slightly open. Goliathus could see the pulse in her neck. Her eyelids flickered, then she closed her mouth, swallowed. She straightened her face into the businesslike blankness again, or as close as she could get to it, and stepped forward cautiously. "I'm v-very pleased to meet you, Goliathus." She didn't offer to shake hands.

He kept his eyes fixed on hers. It wasn't a friendly look in the slightest, but she hadn't proved herself to be anything but an enemy; an evil, edible human. He had only Ami's word that the stranger was trustworthy, and that, well that was just ...words. Goliathus didn't reply to the woman; she hadn't asked any questions yet, hadn't said anything worthy of an answer.

"Ami has been telling me a little about you, but I'd like to talk to you, if I may" Still no answer. "Would you tell me something about yourself?"

Goliathus was puzzled. In all his years, few humans had been calm enough to speak to him at all, let alone ask him personal questions. He didn't know what to say. He glanced briefly at Ami, grumbled, "I know little about myself." The woman jumped at the sound of his voice, recovered herself. "Well... how long have you been living here?" She gestured at the cavern.

He frowned for a moment. "Only ninety-two years." A nervous laugh surprised him; when she saw the look on his face, the laugh died away immediately, the smile sank into a slightly horrified grimace. "Dr. Leyden," Ami said gently, "He's not kidding."

"I slept most of that time." Goliathus tried to explain. "I was awake only a few short weeks at a time... to eat."

Before Ami could stop her, the woman asked, "And what did you eat?"

Goliathus smiled very slowly, exposing his fearsome mouthful of teeth. Dr. Leyden took a tiny step back. "I ate... humans."

"But not anymore, right Goliathus?" Ami hastily tried to divert her friend's line of thought. His smile fell, he scowled slightly and agreed. "No. Ami has... changed my habits. I do not suffer the long sleep anymore."

Dr. Leyden furrowed her eyebrows. "I... I don't understand. Long sleep...?"

Goliathus was losing patience with these questions. It didn't help that the woman's fear was pouring towards him in ever-stronger currents; it was a delicious, tempting smell... He shook himself out of that daydream. "I slept for twenty-three years between my short times awake. But Ami brings me other food now, and I do not ...hibernate... as she called it."

The woman nodded, still frowning slightly. "I see..." but she didn't, not in the least. "Well, I'll need to get a couple of samples to take back to the labs," she said as she knelt down and dug around in her satchel, coming up with a hypodermic syringe and an alcohol swab. She didn' see the heradus' eyes widen in horror as she removed the cap, exposing the long needle. A low growl got her attention; she looked up to see Goliathus rising. He was much, much bigger than she'd thought, towering over her. He also had an intensely threatened look on his face, which, as she watched, flowed into an expression of cruel cunning.

She dropped the hypo immediately, quickly said, "I- I don't need a sample after all."

Goliathus took a step towards her; she slowly stood. "Did Ami tell you I used to hunt? Yes, I hunted day and night. Humans are easy prey, their fear makes them weak and helps me find the tastiest bits."

"Goliathus..." Ami knew trouble was coming. He'd prodded her like this before.

The woman began backing up as the heradus continued to step closer.

"You smell like fear." He chuckled evilly. "But I don't eat humans anymore. No, now I eat animals. Ami brings me food. Sometimes she brings live food, sheep." He looked over at Ami for a moment. "Did you bring me food today, Ami?" Goliathus fixed his malicious gaze on the woman again. "On the hoof?"

Dr. Leyden stumbled as she comtinued to back up, obviously fighting to maintain self-control, not to turn and run.

"You look like a sheep, with that curly white hair. Goliathus reached out a hand and fingered the lapel of her tweed jacket. "And you are covered in wool." The woman whimpered.

"Goliathus, stop it please!" Ami didn't like how this was going at all. She could sense the fear coming from him, and it was turning him cruel, but she wasn't sure if he was just toying with this woman, or might actually harm her.

"Do you want to leave so soon, Dr. Leyden?" he asked. She stared bug-eyed, then nodded rapidly. "Say BAAAA, and you can go."

"No! Stop doing this! ...Goliathus!" Ami tried to step between them, but he held her back with one powerful hand.

"If she will baa like a sheep, then I will stop."

Ami grabbed his face, yanking it towards her. "You're being **_that_**!" She pointed savagely at the hideous monster on the wall, the symbol of the merciless horror he was trying to rid himself of. The cold glee drained from his eyes, and without another look at either of them, he stomped away to a far corner.

The girl cast a worried look after him for a moment, then helped the woman get her bag, guided her out of the cavern.

Half an hour later they were seated in a booth at a diner. Dr. Leyden tried to bring a cup of coffee to her mouth, but her hand was still shaking so badly that most of it sloshed over the side, onto her chin, down her jacket. She set the cup back down with a jittery clank. "I...I must apologize for my unprofessional manners..."

"No, no please, Dr. Leyden, this is not a normal case, and you did incredibly well, especially considering..." Ami bit her lip. "I'm really sorry he did that, he was just so scared, and that's how he acts when-"

"**_HE_** was scared? Oh, my dear, what could possibly frighten one such as... that?"

"You. Humans." She sighed. "He was tortured horribly by humans, a long time ago, and he has a lot of... issues." She took the older woman's hand, held it tightly. "I know it was a shock, but you understand now, I couldn't have told you, any of you, **_what_** he is. No one would have believed me. He needs help, so very badly, and... I hope you will still consider the case."

Late that afternoon, Ami answered the phone. The anxious look on her face became one of joyful disbelief, then triumph, as she listened and answered. After hanging up she gave a shout of glee, then grabbed her coat and flew out the door.

She was calling out and laughing even before she made it all the way down to the cavern. "Hey! Goliathus! Hey, ha hahh, I'm back!" She stumbled into the large space, looked around to find her friend. He was sitting on a bench, chin in his hands, not looking at her. He looked anything but happy.

"What's wrong, Golaithus? I stopped at Mic's and got you some goodies..." She shrugged out of her backpack and pulled out the platic bags.

"I... I disappointed you." His voice was flat and stony. "You tried to help and I ruined it. You were angry. I don't... want you to be angry."

"Oh. Oh, Goliathus, I'm not angry. You just, well you were really scaring her and I didn't want it getting out of hand." Ami was touched and surprised. Goliathus actually cared about what she felt. "It's ok, though. They called..." she paused for effect, "and they've agreed to help!" She squealed and jumped, grinning widely. "I have a meeting with them in a week, to work out the details.

"They will help, even after I... the doctor...?" the heradus stammered, blinked.

"Yeah, once she calmed down, she told them you are the most unique case they will ever have, and she wants to be on the team. You're such a charmer." Ami winked and smiled at him.

Goliathus stared hard at her for a long time, then finally tore his gaze away, lured by the smell of fresh meat. Ami rubbed her temple. "I can't stay long tonight, Goliathus. I'm getting a killer headache."

_End of Chapter 9_


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

The meeting with the research group was long and painstakingly detailed. They wanted to know everything she could tell them about Goliathus, since getting his personal historyfrom him was ...difficult. The whole group was fascinated by Dr. Leyden's description of the heradus, and by her praise of Ami; "a most courageous, resourceful, and intelligent young lady."

Ami told them everything; his tortured past, his long centuries of hate and killing, his deep-down desire to live otherwise. She described what she had tried so far in her quest to help him change, and with a choked voice told of the rampage he'd gone on. They were surprisingly understanding and non-judgemental. When she'd finished talking, the head of the group of researchers, Dr. Fitzhugh, began explaining the process they had in mind.

The cave was inadequate for Goliathus' care, he insisted. It was a constant reminder of his old life, and long-term treatment there would almost certainly lead to further 'outbursts'. The research group had already begun applying for grant funds to construct a place where the project could be carried out in safety and secrecy. Dr. Fitzhugh told her she would be able to guide the design of this 'facility', to fit the needs of her friend. A team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and behavioral researchers was being assembled to begin sessions with Goliathus in the meantime. The construction would take time, so he'd have to undergo treatment at the cave for now.

Then Dr. Fitzhugh cleared his throat nervously. "Your friend will need to be confined, for his safety, and the safety of our team, and the community."

Ami frowned, stared at him. "What do you mean, ...confined?"

"We think there should be a gate in the cave. Something to prevent egress in the event of a psychotic episode."

Her heart sank. "Is it... absolutely necessary?"

"Yes, we all agreed. For this to work, we must have confinement."

Hours later, she still felt like a block of lead was sitting on her chest. How could she break it to him? Ami was sure he'd be upset at the very least. He'd been locked up before, with terrible consequences. She climbed down into the cave still wondering what she'd say to make him understand.

She shuffled into the cavern, sighed, and and looked around for her friend. He was painting again. "Hey, I'm here." Ami walked to a table, set the bags of meat and offal down. "Whatcha working on?" The heradus huffed impatiently. Sometimes he didn't want to be interrupted. Ami strolled around and admired some of the works in progress while she waited.

A while later the sounds of eating brought her back to to table, where she sat on a stool. Goliathus was finishing off the first bag, licking his fingers, and tore into the second. He glanced at her, mouth full of raw liver, and said, "Hgguch rgh unghfpphah."

Ami gaped at him for a moment before bursting out in laughter. "**_What_** did you say?"

He swallowed the huge mouthful and said, "I said, 'You are unhappy', but now I am unsure."

She looked thoughtful for a second, then tried to put on a cheerful face. "Well, I do have some good news." _And some bad news_. The heradus looked intrigued, but continued stuffing his face. "The doctors, they are going to start building you a new place to live so they can help you better. I will make sure they make it comfortable for you. I know you don't like being cooped up." He nodded, interested. "How about room to fly around?" she asked, raising her eyebrows a little. A light gleamed in his eye.

"Some doctors, people to talk with you, will want to come here, one at a time. They'll take it slow, try to make sure not to upset you." Goliathus began to look sceptical again. "I'll be here when they're here until you are used to them." He growled, unsure that he could ever get used to a bunch of strangers.

"Goliathus... there's one more thing."

He could clearly see her nervousness, and it was making him uneasy, too. "They want to put a gate here, for safety." He blinked, uncomprehending. "Gate?" he said gruffly. "They... they want to put a door, a locking door, at the entran-"

"**A PRISON!**" Goliathus shouted so loudly Ami thought her eardrums would burst. She lost her balance and fell backwards off the stool. The heradus stood over her, fury scrawled across his face. _Oh crap..._ She tried to get his attention back. "Wait! Not a prison! Just so it's not a-"

He stooped swiftly and grabbed her neck, lifted her up off the floor so they were face to face. "I knew when I first brought you here that you had **nerve**, but... to invite me to build a prison cell around myself, and let the **_doctors_**," he spat the word out like it was poisonous, "in, at your leisure..." His growl rose to become almost a roar.

Ami's mouth worked, trying to find her voice, but Goliathus continued speaking as her feet dangled in the air. "There is a story among you humans, I heard it once - about hunting unicorns. A fair and innocent young maiden was sent into the woods; only she could lure the beast, and lull it to sleep so that the hunters could bring it down."

Ami, wide-eyed and horrified, tried to shake her head; she finally was able to whisper, "No, it's not like that, I swear it to you Goliathus."

"And what is your word to me? You are nothing but a trap, a scape-goat." He threw her across the room, there was a crunch as she struck the wall, a muffled cry.

Goliathus screeched at the top of his lungs, then began smashing every table, bench, sculpture, everything he could lay hands on.

**_"LIAR!"_**

_Crash!_

**_"SNAKE!"_**

_Crunch! _

**_"TRAITOR!"_**

_Smash!_

**_"WITCH!"_**

_Crash!_

He grabbed knives and threw them against the stone walls, took a large blade and ran over to the monster painted on the wall, began hacking furiously at the image. Sparks flew as fragments of the knife chipped off; finally it shattered and he was left pounding the hilt against scarred stone. He threw the mangled handle to the floor and roared again, then stood just grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.

After a few minutes a soft groan came from the far side of the cavern. He was still so angry he didn't want to go near her. Eventually he saw her shift around, raise her head and look at him. She spoke slowly and very plainly. "I am **_not_** luring you into a trap. These people will **_not_** harm you. Do you trust me?"

He wouldn't answer, turned around so he didn't have to see her. But that sense of her sincerity in his head, it couldn't be a lie, could it? _It may be true as far as she knows, but she could yet be an unwitting tool of the 'doctors'. No, she's far too strong to be anyone's pawn. She is telling the truth, and it is not a trap. _He tried to find a way out of believing her, but it was simply the undeniable truth. He sighed and growled, then stomped slowly over to where Ami was huddled in a limp pile.

"Alright. I do trust you."

Ami laughed faintly. "You're not just saying that, are you?" She looked slightly green. Goliathus had finally caught her scent through his fading anger; she was in severe pain. He tried to pick her up off the floor, but she cried out, almost screamed. She tugged feebly at her coat, pulling it back from herself. Her arm was broken badly, bone stuck out from a rip in her shirtsleeve. "Uh boy..." she said, rolling her eyes up at him. "I don't think I can make it home like this... you're gonna have to take me."

"But... outside..."

"It's the only way, and I trust **you** too. It's dark, no one will see. You'll get me home and you can come back here, I know you will."

He didn't waste anymore time thinking about it, but gathered her up gingerly and carried her out of the cavern. As he beat his great wings in the direction she indicated, a strange thought, almost a whole new perspective, was spreading through his mind. Goliathus realized that he really **_did_** trust this human now, and it was so strange, so different from all the bitterness that had ruled his long existence. Ami was curled and helpless in his arms, but it was he who now felt himself utterly at her mercy. He felt he could put the reins of his life in her hands and not fear for his safety. This thought was appalling, ...yet invigorating. _To give up control of my life to a.. a **human**!_ A power he had never felt from all his rage and fury coursed through him, and it was all because of this small, broken, anything-but-feeble girl.

_End of Chapter 10_

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This will be the last chapter until after Halloween; I have been neglecting my holiday preparations with all this storytelling. Since this was a major turning point in the tale, it's a good place to pause, anyway. Look for the continuing adventures in November!


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

Ami waved to the man in camo guarding the outside of the cave, and she wondered how he managed not to pass out from heatstroke wearing all those clothes. Precautions were one thing, but common sense, well... didn't seem to be all that common. _I guess erring on the side of caution is a good thing, though; it wouldn't do to have people noticing the ant trail of people coming in and out of this cave every few hours_.

She no longer had to bring food every day, but had come just as often anyway. The researchers had taken on the responsibility of feeding her friend, even though he sometimes wouldn't eat what they offered. Ami had instructed them on what he liked, but being scientists, and naturally curious about the strange being in their care, they had tried various alternatives. The heradus was not amused. Neither was Ami when she found out; no harm was done, but Goliathus had been dangerously offended.

School would start again next week, and she'd have to cut down the hours she spent here to evenings and weekends again. The summer had been too short, and even with most of it spent in a cave, she wished it could go on. Goliathus had been different ever since the night he had broken her arm, and very nearly her neck. He no longer argued with her, at least not out of anything more than petulance, and he seemed somewhat willing to do anything she asked. The researchers, however, didn't have it so easy.

He made it clear that he hated their guts from the start. Ami had asked him to be nice, and he interpreted that to mean not tearing them limb from limb. He didn't hold back on taunting them, threatening them for amusement, and giving them the evil eye. Most of them had experienced such behavior from human patients before, but coming from a terrifying winged creature who was more than capable of backing up his threats, well... At least three of the scientists had dropped out of the project immediately after their first meeting with the heradus. Some of the guards now referred to the hallway just outside the cavern as 'the changing room', since it became a regular place for cleaning up and changing soiled pants after confrontations with the angry creature.

Still, they were beginning to make a tiny amount of headway. With Ami moderating, Goliathus would listen and even interact, however begrudgingly, with the doctors. He practiced their suggested techniques of anger management, partially out of self-preservation. He didn't want to lose his temper with the strangers and injure them, thereby upsetting Ami. The heradus had told her as much when she remarked at his willingness to learn. His openness with Ami and his loyalty to her, his almost chivalric sense of honor towards her, had been slowly growing, though he would often still try to shut her out.

She passed the outer checkpoint and descended towards the cavern. At the end of the steep passageway, a steel door with a small, barred window had been installed. Ami had talked them into making it less prison-like; their first intention had been thick bars, like in a jail cell. She explained that this would traumatize her friend even more, and their compromise was a white-painted, but very heavy, steel door, with three deadbolts. Greeting the inner guard, she used her keycard to enter. No one else was allowed to pass without showing their authorization and signing in, but Ami had insisted on free passage.

Inside the doorway was a sort of cage, a steel frame box with walls of high-strength wire mesh. It was wide enough for a couple of chairs and a small table. This was where the doctors and researchers sat while they had their sessions with the heradus. Ami didn't _think_ he would harm them, but having so little control over his rage made it too high a risk. Only two of the researchers had managed to make friends enough with Goliathus to venture regularly into the cave. He wouldn't admit that he hated them less, and certainly not that he liked them at all, but Ami had seen how he behaved around Dr. Leyden, now taken with the heradus, and an intern by the name of Julie.

He was still grumpy with them, ignored them sometimes and threw their Rorschach tests back in their faces, or tore the cards to shreds. Once he had eaten one of the inkblots. The look of disdain on his face had been hilariously combined with revulsion at what he was stubbornly chewing up and swallowing. All the same, he didn't attempt to drive them away; he even talked to them sometimes. Ami could see it clear as day; they were getting through to him, the real him inside.

She used another card and passed through the door in the safety cage. The elderly doctor was having a session right now, and Goliathus sat hunched on a bench a few feet off, facing away from her. He grumbled few words occasionally in answer to her questions. Then he lifted his head, turned and saw Ami approaching, and the look on his face went from sour to relieved in a heartbeat. She felt a sharp pain in her head. _Not again_... Dr. Leyden noticed the change in his expression and turned, smiled warmly at the girl.

"Don't let me interrupt you, please." Ami said quickly, but the woman was shaking her head.

"No, no, we are finished for today. Goliathus has been very forthcoming, he is such a fascinating boy."

Ami laughed. He was probably twenty times the woman's age, but she treated him with motherly kindness. Perhaps she'd sensed that kindness was what he had lacked for so very long.

The girl watched as Dr. Leyden put her notebooks away in her satchel and left the cave, pausing to wave at them before she went through the steel door. Another wave of pain shot through Ami's head. These headaches had been pestering her more and more over the past few months. They weren't severe, just annoying, but unusual. It didn't feel like a normal headache, rather as if a pin was poking into her brain, or sometimes a handful of pins. It was very sharp, and very uncomfortable. She wondered if she should get an MRI or something.

Goliathus was staring at her. No... he was **gazing** at her. The sharp pains in her head made it hard to think, and she turned away, rubbing her temples. "So, how's your day been, Goliathus?"

He was silent for a long moment, then spoke up. "Why don't you listen?" It was an honest, earnest question.

Ami frowned as these odd words sank in. "Huh?" She turned to look at him again. The prickling sensation struck again, but this time she heard... what?... an echo... a voice. It was like a radio station that wasn't tuned right. She stared at him. "Did you do that?"

He tilted his head. "Yes."

She blinked hard, tried to take this in. "Are you... talking into my head?" The pain returned, with jumbled words. "Ow! OW! Stop! Ow!" Ami staggered away a few steps, holding her clenched hands to her head. "You've been trying to talk to my mind for a long time, haven't you?" She peered cautiously at him; he was frowning in consternation.

"I did not mean to cause you pain. Most do not hear at all."

The piercing jabs receded, and she returned to her friend's side. "Well, now that I know what it is, maybe it will work better." She chuckled. "I thought I had a brain tumor!" The heradus looked stricken, but Ami smiled, sat down next to him. "I didn't even know you could do that! Can you read minds, too?"

Goliathus shook his head solemnly. "No, but... I hear **you** sometimes. Faintly." He seemed as fascinated by this as Ami was.

"You **hear** me? You can tell what I'm thinking?"

"Only sometimes. Not often. Not clearly."

Somehow these revelations were not as unexpected as she imagined they should be. _Deep down, I must have known_. The heradus tried to sound unaffected and aloof, though his words betrayed his feelings. "I will not try to speak into your mind again - I don't want to hurt you." He looked disappointed, but resolved. Ami quickly spoke up. "No! Don't give up yet! I... I really want you to be able to talk to me... in your special way. You don't like talking out loud, I know." Goliathus was bewildered by her easy sympathy, her willingness to suffer and struggle for his sake. _Me, who deserves it least_.

Ami was thinking aloud now, absently gazing around the cavern. "Maybe if you... take it slowly, I can learn to listen and not just get a headache." She took a deep breath, looked back at him with a fresh smiling face. _I never would have believed a human could look at me so_...

"I've been sent to ask you for requests."

He frowned, not understanding.

"They're making your new home with a big flying area, like I said, but construction's just barely started as yet, there's still time to make requests if there's anything special you'd like to have."

Goliathus' face twisted further into his frown. _She might as well be speaking in a foreign tongue, her words are baffling_. "I do not know what you want of me," he growled out, not meaning to sound angry, but in his confusion he was easily frustrated.

She reached out, put her hand on his. He started, but didn't move away. Being touched by humans still made his skin crawl, but Ami... she would never harm him. Her touch was always gentle, reassuring. She spoke softly. "I'm just asking if there's anything that would make your life more comfortable, more enjoyable - anything they can build into your home that you'd like to have. An observatory? A jogging track? A hot tub?" She giggled a little.

"Hot ...tub?"

"You know, a spa. A jacuzzi."

He shook his head slowly, scowling with confusion.

"People get together and sit in a pool of hot water."

He was silent for a moment. Then he began to laugh. "I don't always understand when you make jokes, but **that** is amusing." His loud laughter brought a guard's open-mouthed face to the little barred window in the door. The heradus **_never_** laughed.

Ami made a half-smile and raised her eyebrows. "Um. It wasn't a joke. People **really** sit in hot water."

"Why." Goliathus' tone made it clear that he thought the whole idea was ludicrous.

"It feels good."

He sat considering for a minute, then resolutely and firmly answered. "No, I do not want a Hot Tub. Just some water to clean in is sufficient." He hesitated, unsure how to continue on a subject he found unnerving. "They... I thought... this place you call my new home. It is meant to keep me confined, is it not?"

Ami frowned slightly. "Well, it's not meant just for that... I mean, it's meant to be a safe place for you to live and a place where they can help you better."

"But, I had thought it was to be a sort of prison, if with a sweeter name."

Tears stung at Ami's eyes, and she blushed in sudden shame. _He thought I was sending him to prison, and he accepted it for my sake! _"Oh Goliathus, not a prison. I want to make sure that you can be happy there, I want it to be a place where you can stop suffering. You'll be locked in, but not to be tortured. Not to suffer. They... we... **I** want you to be happy."

"Happy? ...me?"

"I **know** there are things you enjoy." Ami slapped herself mentally for her bad choice of words.

A hint of an evil smile began to cross his face, but was quickly crowded out by a procession of other expressions; he was considering what kinds of things he enjoyed that wouldn't outrage his keepers. Ami saw his curious look, let him ponder. One of the things she liked best was being with him when a new idea occurred to him. He always acted like the entire concept of having new thoughts was a brand-new invention.

After a time, he looked around at the wide cavern. "One thing that this place lacks I would like. High places to sit, to rest upon. Like the edges of cliffs, or tall buildings. I feel ...comfortable... in such places."

Ami nodded, looking at him strangely. _Tall buildings_. "Did you... sit on the edges of tall buildings often? ...before? A long time ago?"

"Yes, very long ago, to watch and smell. I would sit on the tallest building in a city. Of course, cities were very small then, the size of a major village today..." Ami was still looking at him oddly, as though an astonishing new thought was occurring to her.

_The tallest building in any town used to be the church. And he perched on the edge - I can just see him sitting stone-still_... "Do you remember when I first met you, and said you looked like a gargoyle?"

Goliathus nodded, remembering that fateful night.

"I think you were noticed, all those years back, and, er... copied." _I'll have to bring him a picture, show him what he inspired_.

The heradus just looked skeptical. _What in the name of the gods is a gar-goyle?_

End of Chapter 11


	12. Chapter 12

The Crucible

_Chapter 12_

The history teacher's droning voice was becoming background noise, slightly annoying like a dripping tap, but not too difficult to tune out. Ami had so many things on her mind she could barely tolerate sitting still. An algebra test next class; an English paper she had sloppily scribbled out late last night, and had to turn in today; these were the immediate frets. Then there was the near future - she was going out to a new club with Nix tomorrow night.

They had gone out a few times, and though most of her friends - and she assumed, most of his - had complained that it was weird for a sophomore to date a senior, none of them would ever understand the nature of the relationship. Ami was fairly sure that it was mutually platonic. He might have had some underlying hope that it would develop into a romance at first, but what had really kept them friends was the shared secret, the one they could never even bring up to each other.

_But my secret goes so far beyond... _Ami thought sadly, sorry to have to keep it from him. He had mistaken that sad, faraway look, believing she was remembering the night Jessica had been snatched away by a winged nightmare.

After a couple of dates, an unspoken understanding began to emerge; Ami was just not interested in having a boyfriend, and easygoing Nix was able to accept that. They didn't need to be romantic to be close, to reassure each other by their presence that **someone** knew, **someone** survived. It still felt kind of like real dates, Ami mused. Intimate.

She wondered about her lack of interest. Most of her friends were either dating or constantly trying to. Ami had examined her emotions, testing the waters of her behavior. Part of her Psych studies was in behavioral psychology, and it was both fascinating and eerie to delve into her own motives. She didn't feel any particular dislike for the boys at her school. There were some really nice ones, some really hot ones, a few that were indescribeably attractive for some odd reason or another. It was just that none of them made her want to follow them around, call them every night, or wear sexy clothes to grab their attention. They just seemed so young, and... naive.

Ami finally decided that she knew, deep down, that Goliathus needed all her attention right now, and her duty to him, her friendship with him, was far more important than high school crushes.

That brought her to her biggest worry of the day. The heradus, struggling minute by minute, hour by hour, to reign in his hate and fear, to restrain his viscious instincts. He had made progress, but...

There were times when he would to crash back to his old self, and they had to start all over; two steps forward and one step back. Sometimes he would be doing so well one minute - open, communicating, even curious; the next minute he would be clammed up, dangerously enraged. Ami fervently hoped the researchers could find some reason for his unpredictable mood swings, and some way to avoid them. It seemed almost like he was two different people in one terrifying body.

The researchers had kept her informed of Goliathus' progress, and had described some of his disturbing behavior, too. Ami wouldn't have believed some of the incidents they'd described if not for the overwhelming evidence: multiple witnesses, surveillance recordings, and undeniable signs of savage tantrums in his cave, something she'd thought he was long past. There had been a couple of times when he was 'code red'; he was in such a foul mood that no one was allowed beyond the steel door. The presence of anyone, even in the safety cage, only fueled his rages. He had smashed his largest and heaviest worktable against it, as well as deftly aiming a few sharp objects through the wire to inform the horrified scientists of that.

When he was calmed down but still considered a threat, they put him on 'code yellow'; doctors were allowed in the safety cage but not into the cavern proper. Goliathus was on code yellow much of the time. Only three people other that Ami ever ventured into the cave anyway, but frequently they had to tread carefully around the heradus' moods.

He was nearly always calmer when she was around; even then he could be cold, cruel, and spiteful, but at least he was rational, maintained self-control. Occasionally he seemed to dote on her, though no one but she could tell it. He allowed her to hold his big knobbly hand in her little fragile ones, and he carefully practiced speaking into her mind. The heradus was eager to communicate this way, and trusted her all the more for her ability to hear him, her receptiveness.

Even so, it was not always successful, and he was rarely patient, had even accused her of purposely not trying hard enough. This kind of cruelty left her open-mouthed, eyes shining with angry tears. Then she'd remind herself that this was just a ghost, the old Goliathus showing through a weak spot. Just ignore it.

The research group was dumbfounded by Ami's ability to tame the monster. When not a single one of them dared open the door, she could walk into the safety cage, and within minutes the creature would stop his violent frenzy. The earsplitting shrieks, which sounded like a thousand fingernails being dragged across a blackboard, would fall quiet; the terrifying thrashing and clawing would cease. To the scientists watching through the tiny barred window, she appeared like an alchemist - she transformed him.

They had mentioned her effect on him at a meeting, speculating that it was because she was so young. When to her horror they had begun to discuss bringing other young people in to test their theory, she was quick to assure them that it wasn't her age - he had no qualms about killing people younger than her.

Ami hadn't realized the extent of her influence on the heradus for a long time, and had hoped he was being calm and, well... less hateful while she was at school. Then she watched some of the surveillance videos and saw what everyone dealt with.

One time he had played a dark game with a group of doctors: Goliathus had spent hours slowly opening up to them, becoming what they wanted - a 'fascinating subject'. They were so wrapped up in the apparent breakthrough that they failed to notice the warning signs. The heradus was playing them like marionettes, stringing them along, feeding them tidbits of emotion, even pretending to weep at one point.

When they were at their most open, their most vulnerable, he whirled around and hurled himself, open winged and open jawed, right onto the front of the safety cage.

The entire group of doctors was suddenly a screaming, flailing mass; educated men and women crawled over each other to get away from the snarling, shrieking monster. His teeth, fingers, and toes were bending the wire as they tightened their grip. The wings stroked the cage roughly, claws at the tips plucking at the wires to make nerve-wracking **_PIC! PIC!_** sounds. The door was finally opened by a guard outside, and all the doctors scrambled through.

Ami then saw what no one there at the time had, what they'd only seen when they reviewed the videos. As soon as the door was shut, Goliathus had relaxed, leapt lightly down from the cage. The recording picked up his evil chuckle as he walked away.

She sighed with shame, but that wasn't the worst.

Another time, he had coyly wormed personal information out of a man who was trying to match Goliathus' descriptions with historical records. The heradus had insinuated that he would trust the man more, and open up about himself... if the historian shared about his own life first. After telling him all about his family, what kind of house he lived in, what kind of car he drove, Goliathus calmly turned it back on the gullible man.

One moment he was quietly describing a memory, the next he was quietly describing how he was going to find little Arthur and his mommy in the two-story yellow house with a green Toyota in the driveway, and then he was going to wing it straight over to the blue house at the end of a lane with four big trees in the yard. There he could snag old Grandma Hollis.

The scenes Goliathus went on to describe to the open-mouthed, horrified historian were brutal and revolting. The quaking man finally toppled from his seat as he threw up violently. He crawled out the steel door sobbing, saliva dripping from his nose and mouth.

Anger and sorrow fought for position in Ami's face as she finished watching the scene. People could be injured and scarred other ways than physically. She hoped none of the research group would suffer any permanent damage. On the other hand, the man had been a fool. No psychiatrist would **_ever_** give personal information to a patient; that was just asking for trouble. The poor man knew nothing about the rules of councelling, and had paid a terrible price.

During the meeting where these incidents were shown to her, they came to some conclusions, and some decisions. There was obviously a fault in the methods they were using. Goliathus didn't like being treated as an experiment, psychologically vivisected for their edification. He had made it clear, twice demonstrating that he was **_not_** what they were handling him as: a sort of super-animal, of alien and questionable intelligence.

Some of the doctors talked to him as though he were a criminally insane human, others as though he was a violent beast, barely capable of rational thought. Others just let their prejudices leak out a little too freely; they saw him as a freak, a monster, a demon. Most treated him humanely, but like a very strong and bad-tempered child.

The few who were really making progress had one thing in common; whether they liked him or not, they showed the heradus respect. Not just a healthy fear of his strength and anger, but real respect as a person. He rarely returned the sentiment outright, but his behavior showed his true feelings, that he saw those few as... well, less evil than the rest.

Two weeks had gone by since the meeting, and most of the staff were seeing signs of improvement from their patient. He was still horrible to many of them, but at least his rages had subsided. Mostly. It was beginnng to break through his thick shell of distrust and loathing; they really **_did_** want him to be well. Sometimes it was more than his mind could grasp, that these humans, more than just the one, not only meant no harm, but wanted to help. Why? **_Why?_** They became so happy and excited when he made a 'breakthrough', and it confused the hell out of him.

On more than one occasion Goliathus had tested their limits, trying to upset them, anger them, disgust them. He wanted to break the facade he was sure all this 'help' was, and make them hate him again, abandon him, just so he could say, "See! I knew it, you are all liars, just toying with me." But no matter how cruelly he pushed them, they would return, hopeful and eager. He tried hard to hide his surprise, his confusion. Ami, accustomed to reading his moods, and able to sense some of his thoughts and feelings, was not fooled. She felt a little bad, informing on him to the researchers, but as the moderator, she was able to cast light on his often inexplicable behavior.

Last night had been a trying one. She'd been told of the doctors' recommendation that Goliathus be fed only de-boned meat from now on, and that he not be allowed to keep the bones or carcasses he had any longer. "The remains are gory reminders of his violent past." When she heard that, she had mixed feelings. Yeah, they were kind of gross, and often scary, yet the heradus had so much creative talent, and to take away his favorite means of expression... It was too harsh! Thank goodness Goliathus hadn't been told yet. She could imagine the uproar he'd make, and didn't think it would be something he'd get over easily. It definitely wouldn't help his already brittle trust of the researchers.

Ami had lain awake worrying about it, after trying and failing miserably to do her homework. The first thing that confronted her groggy mind in the morning was the thought of his angry eyes, the betrayed look she never wanted to see again. _No, there **must** be some other way._ The problem stayed with her throughout classes, like a whining child that she couldn't ignore. She knew why it stuck in her mind; it was terribly imporatant to her friend's happiness, and who else would take his side if she didn't?

A solution began to dawn on her worry-numb mind during her last class of the day. Goliathus was a curious being; he would, when he was in a rare good mood, investigate any new thing that entered his cavern. He often did so surreptitiously, or disguised it with contempt, tossing it aside rudely when he had finished examining the new object. Ami could hear the almost whispered thoughts he let slip, though; _What is this? What is it for? I wonder if..._

_Now why didn't I think of this before?_ Ami's mind suddenly fit the pieces together.

He had used up the original paints long ago, and she kept replacing the empty, or sometimes destroyed tubes. He obviously enjoyed working with the new medium. Why not expand on his choices before taking any away? Let him get to know what else he can express himself with, and maybe he won't care as much about the bones and skins, maybe there will come a day when he will cast them aside as old toys, less interesting than the new ones.

She hoped the doctors would see the sense of her alternative idea. They had told her they wanted to start next week, so she had the weekend to convince them, but the idea was just so exciting she didn't want to wait another second. She would go straight to the cavern after school, run it by Dr. Leyden, and then she could spend the evening with her remarkable, magnificent friend. Even having thought of a solution like this made a wide grin spread itself across her face.

"No one in my class has **_ever_** smiled about Melville before, Miss Quinton, and I have no illusions that anyone ever will. I'm sure you have a big date with a wonderful hunk planned for this evening but if you **_don't mind_**, please try to concentrate on your work."

Ami blushed, pulled her face into a serious blank via a knowing smirk. Big date with a wonderful hunk, eh? Well... sort of.

_End of Chapter 12_


	13. Chapter 13

**The Crucible**

_Chapter 13_

_Humans are sly._

_How can you know what their true intentions are; they are always playing tricks and weaving devilish plans. They are so cunning._

A couple even have him half-convinced of their sincerity. It's so irritating, to catch himself, sometimes hours later, believing those soft voices and clever words. Words... words. Even if the humans aren't lying outright, their words are just a surface innocence, whitewashing a core inherently black and corrupt.

The old woman - Dr. Leyden - was steadfast in her firm kindness, had never let slip any hint that she might be play-acting. So too was the young assistant Julie, though more reserved and cautious. They treated him fairly, were open and tactful, assumed he had feelings. How effortlessly they tamed him. It was galling. Every time, they lulled him into a sense of security and comradeship; not until time had passed did he remember who they were, **_what_** they were, and bitterly harden his heart against them again.

That **one** could be true, he could accept, though with a suspicious amazement. Ami... somehow he could not doubt her anymore. How could he? Their secret language was proof enough. But the others... it was too much to ask, for him to believe that more than one human was capable of honesty and goodwill. One is a quirk, a lucky chance. Two, three, more... that smells of a plot. Or at the very least, of a well-intentioned seduction.

_If they are truly what they say, and intend no harm, that would mean it's not such a rarity, such a miracle, that a human can be decent, worthy of living. That I have been reckless, taking out my rage and vengence against some who may be... innocent._

_No!_

_That cannot be possible. They all deserved it._

_Ami means well, but the others... I'm sure they're up to something. They may not even be aware of it, but everything humans do ends up in ruin and waste. They can't help it, it's in their nature. I'll have to be careful._

x-x-x-x-x

_Goli'thus, are you ok?_

He was gazing off into the distance of the cavern, eyes unfocussed, lost along some grim line of thought. Ami worried about him.

His temper had gradually improved, the violent rages became infrequent. He was even beginning to cooperate with the scientists, though with hearty reluctance. Once or twice he had poked fun at a smug researcher, his ascerbic wit drawing surprised laughter from the others present. They were starting to see him as a person, and he was - possibly subconciously - warming to the social attention. For all his progress, though, a dark shadow was growing.

A sharp tingle spread inward from her forehead; she suppressed the wince, and blinked rapidly at the invasive sensation.

_I am well enough._

He was always open with her, to a point, but lately something had been weighing on his mind which he refused to discuss. Though he was calmer, he was also becoming more reclusive.

_Won't you share your thoughts with me?_

He turned his head to look at her for a few moments, then resumed his unseeing stare across the cavern. She watched as his expression shifted subtly, furrows of his brow deepened and joined.

_How do you **know** they are trustworthy?_

Goliathus had always been frank, but this was as revealing a question as she could have hoped for. Mostly suspicious, as always, but behind that, a note of curiosity, longing. He wanted to know how humans related to each other.

_I just feel it, Goli'thus. It's a combination of body language, tone of voice, actions that speak louder than words, all that. Like an instinct._

_**My** instinct tells me they are dangerous. Untrustworthy and evil. My instinct is to kill them._

_Is it truly? _Ami stared hard into his face, forcing him to take her seriously. _I think you also feel otherwise, and you don't want to face it. I think you like some of them-_

_Think what pleases you._

_-that you like some of them because you feel, deep inside, that **they** like **you**. Sure, they might still be afraid of you, but that's kind of understandable. _Ami squeezed his arm. _Dr. Leyden likes you, you can't tell me otherwise._

_...why would... ...motives... ...conniving..._

_Goliathus, sometimes we just have to trust each other, take people at face value. It's a risk, but taking that risk is a big step in friendship._

He mulled over this argument silently. Risk. Trust. She spoke so easily of these things, but what could she know about the consequences of risks taken and trust misused? He growled as the memories welled up again, like pus from a festering wound.

_The last time I took the risk to trust humans, I was made to suffer more than any of you could imagine! Prison, torture, burning... these are the fruits of trust._

_Oh Goli'thus, do you still think that's what will happen here? That it **could** happen here? _She sighed heavily. His past clung to him, continued eating at him despite all efforts to bring him out of it. _All I can do is promise you that nothing like that will ever happen to you. You believe me, don't you?_

He hesitated. _I believe... that you would not knowingly allow any such thing to happen._

Ami smiled faintly. _Over my dead body._

_**No!** **Do not speak so! **_The image of Annabelle, lost to him, burned as a witch for harboring and nurturing him. The evil men taunting him with her fate. He groanedat the thought of it happening again.

_Take it easy, it's just an expression. I only meant that you are in good hands, and I will never let you down._

As long as she lives. But if she weren't here... would these others be so benign? _They can fool **her** with their sweetness, but not me. _

_Nothing must happen to her._

x-x-x-x-x

The chessboard smashed against the stone wall, broke into splinters. Tiny fragments of chess pieces bounced away from the impact.

"G, calm down! It's only a game."

The heradus raised glowering eyes to the intern, daring her to soothe him. It was a look that sent most of the researchers scurrying for the safety cage, but Julie was not so easily intimidated anymore.

"Why did you do that?"

He snorted, folded his muscular arms over his chest. "I could not win. I **must** win!"

Julie bit her lip to keep from laughing. The heradus was touchy, and didn't like being laughed at. "That's not the point of games. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. It's play. For fun."

Goliathus growled. "I know what play is. But I **have** to win. I always win."

She had to cover her mouth with her hand; the smirk wouldn't stay down._ Well, I wonder when you're gonna catch on that these guys are letting you win, because they're scared shitless of your nasty temper._

Among the diversions to draw him away from his carcass sculptures were games. The heradus proved a natural strategist, after all, he had been playing games with his prey for centuries. Problem was, he was obsessed with winning, with acquiring the final goal at any cost. Even if it was a game as harmless as Candyland, he would crouch over the board, calculating his moves with fervent intensity.

The sight of him concentrating so intently on a cartoonish gameboard was hilarious, that is, until he was ripping the board intodust. The sight of his claws going through the cardboard children's game was chilling.

He quickly lost interest in games of chance, but anything that involved long, elaborate strategy was well-received. Few of the researchers had enough rapport with Goliathus to engage him in a game, and Julie got permission from Dr. Leyden to spend some time with him, as a game partner, as a close observer.

She often used her spare time to try out different games. The heradus would be a great playing companion, except for the fact that he was such a sore loser. He didn't seem to be so upset that he had lost, as that someone else had won.

An idea sparked in Julie's mind. "Have you ever played against Ami, big guy?"

A pause. "No. Why would I choose her as an adversary?"

Julie had to laugh at that. "Aha. I think I see the problem. You look at your opponent as an adversary, someone to beat."

"Is that not right? If I am trying to win, then my opponent must lose."

"Well, yes and no. You are trying to win, but you are also playing **with** your opponent. It's a partnership. It's a way to learn about each other, and to gain respect for each other's skills and efforts."

Goliathus frowned, trying to digest this line of thought.

"Can you imagine playing this game with Ami? How would you feel if she lost?"

He glared sharply at her. "I would not hurt her!"

"I didn't say you would, G. Winning a game against her wouldn't hurt her. And losing a game against her wouldn't hurt **you**. You would both be fine."

Goliathus snarled. "I know what you are doing. You are trying to make me accept losing!"

"What?" Julie was caught off guard.

"I have lost everything, is that not enough? Must I also surrender my will?"

"G, what are you talking about?"

"I have lost my freedom, my reason, ...my food."

"I was only talking about a game, Goliathus. Just a game. Nothing more." It was just dawning on her what he meant by "my food".

The heradus looked utterly flabbergasted, and wandered away to think about this on his own. _These human are so incomprehensible._

_End of Chapter 13_


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

"Tell me."

Dr. Leyden's voice was firm, cool, and smooth, yet carried that ever-present undertone of compassion, the promise of a safe haven. This was the third time she'd asked, and from the infuriatingly patient set of her face, she would keep asking again and again until she got what she wanted.

Goliathus growled; a long, low rumble, intended to warn her off. He knew it wouldn't work any better than the silence with which he had answered her previous attempts. She had little fear of him any longer; he wanted to kick himself for having allowed her to tame him so. A different kind of chains, this way she had wormed her way into his confidence. A prison of domestication.

Not like Ami, who was just a little girl - ...well... not so little any more - but still, this woman pressed hard at his weakest points, expertly, efficently - and worse, she softened him. He was opened up like a vivisected animal, not physically like before, but emotionally.

He hated her. ...No, he needed her.

"Goliathus, please. You know you need to talk about it." As grating as was the request to hear the intimate details of his past, there was no mistaking her honest sympathy, that if he continued to hold it inside it would hurt him more.

_It's mine, no one else's. Can I not keep at least one thing for myself? These memories that they could not possibly value the depth of... could never cherish as I do. If I give them those memories, I will lose my anchor. I know what will happen, they'll take the memories and distort them, change them, diffuse them into harmless, meaningless nonsense._

Ami knew some of his past, but he hadn't told her... she'd **_seen_** somehow, as though she were a worthy vessel to receive the bitter tears of his memory. She'd also never pressed him to talk about it. Encouraged him, yes - but she respected his reticence.

_Of all these humans, she is the only one I might tell, if she asked again. But no, it would hurt her to know those things. As it hurts me. Best to keep my treasure - my agony - to myself, forever._

"No." When the heradus finally responded, it was in a tone that demanded finality. Dr. Leyden was not so easily put off, though.

"Goliathus, my dear, look at me. Look at me?" Her voice was like a mother's caress on the cheek. In spite of himself, he raised his eyes to glare at her. She smiled sadly. "Do you think I would be so persistent if I didn't think it was important, for you? I know you trust me, to a degree," The heradus sneered, unwilling to hear the truth of her words, "and that trust is not misplaced. You know it." She paused to let it sink in.

"Keeping your painful memories a secret will not strengthen you, and sharing them will not diminish you." She spoke slowly, quietly. "No one will ever be able to take them away from you, but we might be able to help you stop hurting. And I know you do hurt. So I ask you again... what happened in the prison?"

He was resolved not to speak, but something slipped and fell loose inside him.

He began telling of the long hunger, alone in the cell, all the while shouting at himself inside to stop blurting to this nosy old woman, who was sure to make him sorry for it. But it felt good, so good to tell someone, and he went on in a low voice, their heads bent close together.

It was like raking over a bed of ashes, and finding it glowing hot inside. With every word, the memories resurfaced afresh, burning like acid. When he spoke ever so briefly of Annabelle, the woman who had sheltered him, the doctor tilted her white head slightly, but mercifully didn't interrupt. He didn't want to think about that.

He didn't want to think about any of this, but maybe it would be like vomiting - horrible while it came out in involuntarily spasms, but leaving him healed and rid of poison. Though this was the poison that had made him what he was. What could be left without it?

His anger grew as he revisited the tortures, the starving, the terror. He didn't even feel the hot tears streaming down his crevassed face, didn't notice the spittle flying from enraged lips as he lost his sense of time. The cavern blurred and faded. He was back there, it was happening all over. Everything he described came to pass, mutilating his flesh, scorching his soul. He saw the filthy, dark-robed men hovering all around, and lashed out in terrified rage; he was surprised to find himself for once not chained immobile.

Goliathus took advantage of his longed-for freedom, and attacked the figure nearest. A hideous snarl unfurled from his mouth as he pounced, but as they fell to the stone floor, he saw where he was, and who was beneath his spread claws. He jumped back, startled.

The elderly little woman had barely cried out. She lay gasping, her face contorted. _I didn't hurt her, I only knocked her down, ...didn't I? _There was no blood, no sign of injury, but she was clutching at her left arm, at her neck, and a pitiful wheeze emerged from her. The smell of pain choked the air. Goliathus looked around, frantic. _What have I done?_

Guards and lab-coated scientists were pouring into the safety cage, cautiously edging into the cavern as they cast wary eyes on their charge. A couple of the more familiar ones approached, their hands outspread, shaking.

"Goliathus, move away. We have to take the doctor out, and we need you to step back."

He snarled, glowering at them, confused. _Where is Ami?_ But they couldn't hear him, and she wasn't there.

He looked down at Dr. Leyden, who was pasty, groaning almost inaudibly, her eyes squeezed shut. She was dying, he knew that odor all too well. _How **could** she, and after she seduced me into telling her my darkest memories? _The miasma of betrayal and doubt clouded his mind. Goliathus staggered away a few steps, not wanting to see the humans swarming around, nearly retching at the revolting stink of their suspicion and fear. Stumbling against one guard, he shoved the man roughly away from him; the man skidded and rolled across the gritty floor.

The heradus stood apart, staring morosely at his huge painting, the many-headed nightmare. The picture held his attention, he barely heard the people shifting around. They moved quickly to drag the doctor out of the cavern. A metallic clank sounded as the door rolled shut, and soon the fumes of their sweat dispersed.

_I killed her. What other proof do I need? I am not supposed to be anything other than a killer, a loathsome monster. I was a fool to think otherwise._

He suddenly felt the gnawing ache of hunger, and half hoped for, half dreaded the entry of the next human into his domain. Whoever the fool was, they would not live long. Then he could go about freeing himself from this dungeon.

_End of Chapter 14_


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

Ami felt like she was trapped in a nightmare. Everything had been fine, and then out of the blue it all began to go disastrously wrong. The last two hours had brought her hopes and dreams crashing down.

She had hurried to the cave after school as usual. Pedalling her mountain bike at a steady pace along a small farm road, she was chilled when an ambulance swept past, sirens squalling. There was no reason to think it had anything to do with Goliathus, but that shadow of foreboding stayed with her.

The fear-taut expressions on the faces of the outer guards solidified her premonitions. They refused to explain, insisting she find out from the senior staff; apparently it was something serious. Ami fought down a deep, inexplicable resignation. _This whole idea was destined to fail. You knew it from the beginning._

_No,_ she chided herself._ I just knew it wouldn't be a cake-walk._

After tracking down the research team, she quickly learned what had happened. The ambulance she'd seen had taken Dr. Leyden to the emergency room, though no one who had seen her go believed she would ever walk through these doors again.

"We did CPR on her until they took over," a doctor said in a shocked voice, "but never got a pulse. She was gone before we ever pulled her out of the cavern."

Ami could hardly believe it. Her friend, her mentor, gone in an instant. And worst of all, by the hand of her other friend.

They showed her the surveillance video, rewinding over and over the horrible moment of Goliathus' attack. The most troubling part was, it was unclear whether the attack had been deliberate. The heradus had simply gone postal, leaping on the elderly doctor with savage and sudden focus.

"We're not sure," the senior psychologist said, "but it appears that he just lost his temper for a moment. She was asking him some very personal questions at the time of the attack." The man cleaned his glasses for the fifth time. "He's been unresponsive ever since we removed Dr. Leyden. Androupolis is in there now, trying to rescue the project."

Ami's heart skipped for a beat, and she hoped fervently that her dark suspicions were unfounded. Mr. Androupolis was not a doctor, but he was respected as one of the few men to whom Goliathus would deign to speak. A councellor speacializing in violent criminals, he seemed a good choice to work with a bad-tempered heradus. So far he had made good progress, but today...

Screams shrilled from the hallway. Everyone jumped, the bolted for the doorway. Guards were running towards the cavern; the main door was standing open, but blocked by a mass of people. Ami squeezed around taller bodies, desperate to get through. Something inside her said this was of vital importance, that she find her friend before it was too late.

She burst into the safety cage and was greeted by a horrific scene. Goliathus stood a few feet away from the cage, and dangling from one outstretched arm was Mr. Androupolis, clearly dead. Ami was certain of this immediately; the man's neck had been squeezed in a merciless grip until his vertebrae were crushed. His head flopped like a rag doll's as the heradus shook him to punctuate deadly words.

"Shut up," he grumbled in a low, toneless voice. Ami had never thought to hear that soulless sound again. "_Shut. Up._" A moment later he opened his huge hand, let the boneless body crumple to the floor.

The cavern echoed with shocked silence. No one moved to retrieve the body. It was as though the sudden barbarity of the event had rendered everyone powerless to think or speak, including Goliathus. He seemed to be waiting.

Ami opened her mouth several times before her voice worked. "Goliathus... What... what are you doing?" Her words were dwarfed by the expanse of the violence that had separated them.

He stood still, a statue hewn of anger. It was minutes before he gathered a breath from the poisoned air around him.

"I am returning to where I belong."

Ami's heart sank at hearing these cryptic words. Something had gone terribly wrong with Goliathus. He spoke again, as though straing to vocalize the depth of his hate.

"I killed her. Doctor Leyden. I killed her," he paused to gather his rage about him like a cloak, "because I am what I am." His voice was like a funeral bell, deep, irrevocable.

Ami pressed up against the closed door in the cage. "You didn't mean it. I saw! Goliathus, it was an accident! Wasn't it?" she pleaded in her small but steady voice.

A mirthless laugh barked through the cave. "Who would kill a kindly old woman? Who but me? No, no accident, just my nature. I am a monster, girl. No matter what you _want_." He bit off the last word bitterly.

Ami swallowed hard. She felt how close he was to being out of her grasp. Intuition prodded her to act. "Goliathus, I'm coming in."

He turned his head slightly, an alien look of dumbfounded loathing on his face. "Fool..." His voice was almost drowned out by the cries and protests of the staff around Ami. She shook their protective grasps away and used her key-card before she had time to think about it and possibly change her mind. Ami was dreadfully aware of the danger she was walking into.

She padded up beside him, but he stayed motionless, looking away from her. A sense of restrained fury dripped from him like chill air from a freezer. Ami craned forward to speak just to him.

"Whatever happened to Dr. Leyden, it was an accident. Accidents _happen_, Goliathus." She lowered her voice even more, almost to a whisper. "You're not evil. I _know_ you're not."

The heradus might have been undecided; it was impossible to tell. If he could kill two people so familiar to him, he might also kill the one closest, and then God help them. Seconds ticked by like hours, but the creature remained still, didn't reach out and strangle the girl.

"Come on now. Let's go over here for a while." She glanced at the staff inside the safety cage. "We'll sit at your table." Ami didn't try to take his hand; she had a feeling she shouldn't touch him just now. Amazingly, he let himself be led away. The heradus seemed to have retreated to some inner hell; his eyes were dull and sullen. When they approached his table, she began to reach for him, but his arm came up and shoved her roughly, sternly away.

Ami stood for a moment, uncertain as to whether she should persist. Something told her this was as far as she could push for now, and sighing, she turned to help drag the body of Mr. Androupolis out of the cavern.

x-x-x-x-x

Goliathus couldn't stop the sequence of events running again and again in his head. The memories choking him, the surprise and pain on Dr. Leyden's face, the terrible surety that she was dead.

How _could_ she? How could she go, and after he had told her all those things?

She had been a friend to him, and he'd killed her like swatting a fly. He was destined to destroy every good thing around him; all of this foolishness had been a waste of time. It burned like venom, the shame of having fallen for all the humans' goody-sweetness.

_But Ami, she is not false. _

...maybe not, but she might be **wrong**.

x-x-x-x-x

The heradus didn't recognize the emotion that threatened to drown him. It had been centuries since he had felt it, and worse emotions had mutilated his soul in the intervening time. Grief - and for a _human_, was virtually unthinkable to him, but here it was, tearing him apart.

* * *

A/N: My apologies to everyone for this craptastic chapter, but the worst has happened; I've lost my muse. I have a brain cloud or something, but I can't write. Mental illness is a bitch, ain't it.

There is only one thing which might save me, and it doesn't involve joining hands and chanting 'I believe in fairies'. What I mean is SOME FICTION. Please, please, someone heed my call, write some Jeepers Creepers fanfic. It's the only thing that can inspire me. For pity's sake, please.


End file.
